It all started with a human warrior. Not creative I know, but I was still learning, and this seemed low maintenance. I played him as an "all about the money" knight. So when a world war between various race groups broke out, he saw it as an opportunity. Now this game had been going on for some time before I joined, So I didn't, and still don't, know exactly what the main storyline was about. Because it was derailed entirely in just a few sessions. My human merc was quickly picked up by the special forces party, and fit in quite well, making friends with the Goliath tank, human druid, and elf leader. Making acquaintance with the paladin and bard, and his only enemy being the tiefling rogue. To say they had conflicting personalities would be an understatement. By his third day with the group, she had slapped him, cursed him out, and had very nearly come to fists, multiple times. It all came to a head when she attempted to bribe him to leave his assigned watch, for reasons I still don't know. Remember how I said he was all about the money? Well, money was something she didn't have. So they had their first bit of pvp when he declined, which was quickly broken up.
Keep in mind that this all happened in a short span of time, as we were speeding through the game to get into the story. This is where it picked up. To keep tensions to a low, my human fighter was asked to scout ahead. He agreed, but I got a little too eager, and made my first rookie mistake. He split away from the party.
"you see a lone wolf, seems like an easy win", the dm informs me.
I aim my bow, hit, its dead.
"Six more wolves and three dire wolves ambush you. The party comes across your armor and scattered remains. This is your first DnD lesson newbie, don't split the party".
I thought it was kinda harsh at the time, but I learned.
The elf leader was sad, the Tiefling rogue laughed, and like that, I died in my first ever session.
Though, that by itself might not have been weird. Don't worry, it picks up. I ask the dm what I should do. He gives me a few options, "Make a new character, and try and learn. Or give up, maybe you aren't cut out for this".
"What it he came back as a zombie..?", i said mostly joking.
"write me a short story as a proposal".
Of all the things I expected to hear, that wasn't one of them.
As a former aspiring writer, I had a short story done the next morning. The next game, the DM describes how I wake up on a bed of wolven corpses. Surrounded by demonic glyphs painted in blood. My armor had been haphazardly reassembled, and my swords, which had sentimental value to my character, were laid before him, as if they were a gift. He informs me that I had gone from a level 2 fighter, to a level 1 Fighter level 1 warlock multiclass. He informs me that while my body is intact, I am missing huge chuncks of meat and skin. My lower jaw is compete bone, only from my nose up does my face have any skin. I am an undead now. He hands me a rule sheet for homebrew undead rules I'll be expected to know. "It won't be easy", he tells me.
My character returns to the group, face hidden by a wolf skin bandana, to find out that most of the party had been slain by the enemy, in particular by a nasty raid of enemy orcs.
The friendly druid was dead, the elf leader was dead, the Goliath tank was dead. The rogue survived due to her Npc slave (which I had yet to meet) saving her. The paladin survived due to sheer power, and the bard just kind of hid. My character was now alone with his worst enemy, and two people he didn't know.
Sound like a normal game? Just wait, this is still the prequel.
The other players whose character's died never returned, I do not know why.
The party discovers that the Elf leader's body is missing, and reasons that he may have survived. Due to his higher rank, he may have been taken prisoner. And so we set out to find him. It's standard adventure up until we cross into enemy territory.
You see, my character wasn't a run of the mill Warlock. His soul was being held by a nearly deific demon. And I am informed that the demon's influence is taking over. I am informed that as the game progresses, my alignment will slowly change toward Chaotic Evil, with certain saves allowed should I want to resist. I don't, I'm getting to play an undead knight? "How cool is that?!", I think to myself. Despite the paladin being almost custom built of destroy me, his remarkably low intel score makes him oblivious.
Eventually we arrive at a border town village, where a troupe of Goblins are going full Goblin slayer, opening episode.
We spring to action, and within three rounds the goblins are corpses. Me and the paladin, take the worst of it, and he goes to heal me. My character recoils in a mix of horror and fury, "Keep your magic to yourself!".
You see, part of my undead rule sheet says that any magical healing from divine means or spells, instead of healing, does its equal amount in damage, and Necrotic does its same value in healing.
I roll to convince the Paladin that I'm simply afraid of magic is all.
Suprise attack! Everyone roll initiative as I calculate the damage you take from the goblin archers.
A second skirmish, this time everyone takes damage, but the Paladin tanks the most of it, going full protagonist mode. This time he doesn't ask, and immediately uses lay on hands, before running to the rogue. The dm describes as fingers fall off from the divine slashing damage. The halfling bard sees this, and then runs up and makes a medicine check, passes, and just mashes them back on.
Just after the paladin gets the rogue back on her feet, round three! A new unit of goblins rush into the frey, no sneak attack this time, right into initiative.
Mid ways in, my fighter feels his patron watching, and feels whispers urging him to use his abilities. One burning hands later, I mow down the small horde surrounding us.
"I thought you hated magic?", the paladin asks.
I don't hear any of it, as my patron hungers for more. I fire an E-blast at an armless and legless woman the goblins were "using" before we arrived.
"Ashes to ashes, your bonus is higher than her remaining health".
By this point, the Paladin figures it out, and attacks with his warhammer.
"Everyone getting involved, roll Initiative".
The bard sits it out, the rogue eagerly rolls, and goes first.
"you only live twice", I say, pulling out my back up sheet, knowing full well I couldn't write a good enough story to justify being an Undead Undead.
The Rogue runs in and goes right for the throat, "Leave him alone!".
rolls.
hits.
The Paladin takes 8 damage.
He goes second, rolls to hit her, misses.
I roll, hit, crit, in one swift swipe, I cleave his neck wide open, his blood making my armor crimson. Apparently he had blown all his healing on the bard and rogue, and hadn't had a chance to heal himself.
The DM describes how killing people pleases my patron, and describes how my face heals, kinda like the Mummy from the Ben Fraiser movies.
I remove my mask to see how I look. I had personally downed half the goblins, and the Paladin, which apparently counted for extra. My face is now mostly healed, and could be mistaken by the common man for just having horrendous scars or wounds.
What do you think so far?
The paladin player left the game after that. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same had I died via other players rather than wolf murder.
Me, the rogue, the bard, and the slave npc continue our journey. The Rogue is suddenly into my character big time. Telling him how she had been craving a man with power that knows how to use it. Apparently his over the top violence really did it for her.
At the start of the game, my character would have turned her down, and maybe another fight would have started. But by this point, my character had transitioned into Neu-Neu, and didn't really care. They get it on while the bard and slave npc wait outside and keep watch.
From here it cranks up, but now that the background is established, I can get into the real weirdness.
It starts two games later, while my character and his new admirer share another night together. The bard and NPC are in an accident, and the NPC gets crushed by a tree. The rogue is intent on saving her. Turns out NPC's soul is trapped in her necklace, and if taken off, Npc dies, unless another Npc willingly puts it on. In comes a happy farming family. The rogue frantically tries to make the farmers wife wear it, however, she isn't interested. Its only with persuasion from the bard that she wears it. New problem, how to get the wife away from the family. Rogue convinves me to KO the wife, in exchange for more "alone time".
As I carry the wife away, she uses disguise self, and tells the farmer shes leaving, and taking the newborn with her. Farmer doesn't really understand, and walks away distraught.
He ends up believeing that something is wrong. Rogue convinces the Bard to forge a suicide note, and they stage his suicide.
However, the rogue isn't big on loose ends, and starts to plan one last PvP. The bard knows full well what's happening, and books it out of the story. He doesn't return to the game.
The Rogue personally adopts the newborn, and begs my fighter to be its father. He is reluctant, and agrees on a temporary basis.
The npc transformation is slow, and so they take up shop in Rogue's home town. Turns out Rogue is heir to crime family, and crime family hates my fighter.
When NPC transformation is starting to take effect, the party of 2 leave.
Enter the weirdest chapter so far. On their travels, the two meet a new character. An experiment, a mix of most known races, with honestly OP homebrew magic. A bag that can spawn infitine items, but each spawn is random, and she has what is essentially Wild Sorcerer magic, but on steroids.
Said pc is being hunted by a rival crime family, however the next few games are normal. Rogue hates experiment child. Npc has been nursing newborn on account of rogue being unable. Npc starts to get attached to newborn and begins to ignore orders relating to the newborn.
Rogue considers killing Npc.
After a few days of oddly normal roleplay and peace, we return to our regularly scheduled weirdness. Experiment Child spawns a bottle of booze. Fighter and Rogue have differing ideas on how to handle it. Fighter says let her have it, the hangover will teach her the hard way.
"The Girl has to learn"
Rogue disagrees, we're putting in the work to raise her, we'll take what we want.
Rogue and Experiment Child fight, ending with Rogue passing newborn over to Npc as she turns in early.
Fighter comforts Child, leaves her with Npc, then goes to Rogue. Rogue needs "stress release".
As they release their stress, Experiment Child enters tent and refuses to leave. I use command, Child fails save, despite having advantage and almost every other racial boost.
This starts a real life argument between players, as Experiment Child's player says we should have allowed her to enter the tent and watch, and yells about wanting to know my alignment, because unless I'm good, I shouldn't be allowed to use that action.
This is one of the last times Experiment Child plays, as shortly after, opposing crime family finds us. Commence horrible torture of Fighter, Rogue, and death of Npc slave, as her necklace is shattered.
Experiment Child is tortured even worse.
Rogue barters our release, however we are forced to leave Experiment child behind. During our journey back toward Rogue's hometown, guards apprehend us, asking questions. They take Fighter in for questioning, but allow rogue and newborn to go, as he leaves Rogue shouts out "Don't worry about the baby, I can nurse her myself now".
Apparently undead can have children.
After his release, he finds out that rogue also has a patron, and wasn't just a rogue after all.
This starts a romeo and juilet/Mr. and Mrs. Smith type scenario, as a Devil and Demon have warlocks both consorting with the enemy.
Its around this time that the dm informs me of new powers and abilities I possess, and that I'm now a vampire rather than a standard undead. I ask Why, and receive a pack of Succubus lore. There's a reason Rogue wants so much private time. Had I not already been an undead whose soul was taken, I'd have likely been dead already.
Now we reach the finale of the story, the ending. It starts with our final new player and PC. A little Kobold, looking for a new master UwU.
I do not exaggerate, as that was their introductory line. Rogue meets with new PC, just before I return to the village. Kobold wants help, and Rogue, attempting to be less.. confrontational.. tries to help.
Weebey Anime Kawaii Kobold is warned not to cause trouble by multiple NPC's, guards, Me, and the rogue.
Commence Jar Jar Binks levels of antics, ending with the Kobold burning down Rogue's bed room, and attempting to steal some valuables cause, "I just a wittle Kobold, don't know no better :3", finger in mouth, smug face.
Rogue has had it, and collars the Kobold, "want a master huh? Oh and we don't tolerate theives".
Commence cutting off of Kobold's hands.
Down the line, we have to take on a mission, however, the Kobold isn't having it, and betrays us to the orc army. Remember them from earlier?
"Roll initiative".
Turns out Jar-Jar was a Jo-Jo monk, and didn't need hands.
Fighter takes out many orcs, but is forced to surrender when Kobold and orcs capture Rogue.
Orcs tie up Fighter and Rogue, and gives Kobold an Axe. He promptly removes hands from arms, and wings from the Rogue.
He begins to bring the axe down on my fighter. I make a religion roll, asking my patron for aid. Kobold cleaves Fighter's neck open.
Fighter turns into a massibe undead demon hulk type monster, and single handedly kills the orcs, and Jar-Jar Bold, removing his soul and sending it to the abyss to be tortured for eternity.
However, this was the fighter's last Hurrah, only having one last action. He hugs the rogue, and dies in her arms.
That was how my first DnD game ended. It was only later when I tell the story to other game groups that I was told/realised how weird the whole situation was. Note I left out the more extreme acts of weirdness to keep it pg. So, what do you think? Was it weird? Or is that just a normal campaign?
[zombify_post]
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