We are gathered here today to regale you of a story of cowardice, sexual assault, gaslighting, victim blaming, and betrayal. Several weeks ago, an all-female group of D&D players interviewed and was assembled for running a module. At no point prior to the interview did the DM reveal that they were male, which came as a surprise to us given the tone of the LFG listing. During our interviews and again in our Session 0 together, it was explicitly outlined that this group was a safe space for women players to participate in D&D without having to deal with the harrowing sexism or related issues in our escapism fantasy RPG. We as a group have all had to deal with these issues in real life and were excited to be in a campaign where the DM was supposedly going to remove those elements from any pre-written content and make sure our experiences were positive in that aspect. The campaign was going to be streamed on Twitch and we were pretty pumped for this.
Fast forward to the current times. Our group of adventurers were traveling to a new city and had to stop by a tavern on the way. As our PCs entered, we discovered a group of haughty male noble NPCs had bought out all the rooms and all the drinks the moment we asked about getting them. We wanted to leave, but were informed that we and our horses would take a level of exhaustion and it would be very bad to do so. We attempt again to get the rooms in the tavern and the NPCs are throwing sexist comments at our PCs and call us ‘wet holes’ to fuck, make implications that they’d like to take us back to their rooms and possibly rape us, while also provoking us by calling our Half-Orc mascot, who is played by a minor, racist slurs. There are POC and a minor in our group as well. Not wanting to take this lying down, we retorted by having one person use Prestidigitation to put some mud on the face of the NPC who called us ‘wet holes’ for being a jerk. This is where things manage to get worse.
Without any saving throws or any way to get out of the situation, our characters get grappled and pinned by NPCs, who turn out to be massively higher level than us and end up 1-shotting several in the party later. Being in a situation where we are physically pinned by someone who already deemed you a sex object is very triggering for a lot of us. Our mindset was immediately fight or flight on a level not usual for DND and many of us were and still on edge because this scenario hit too close to real life events we have experienced.
We realize we can’t win, but keep on fighting and trying to get away, even going so far as to try and find a way to TPK one another so we can get out of this situation, as having our PCs pinned with the prior indication that they might be raped is not something any of us were happy about. Eventually, after the DM declines to let us just die, he offers to let our PCs leave if we personally strip our KO’d companions naked and leave our belongings behind. We announced that we were not comfortable with this situation and it was clear we were not having fun. Instead of apologizing for putting us in that instance, the DM attempted to backtrack after admitting he goaded us into confrontation by blaming us for starting the fight by using Prestidigitation instead of turning around and leaving and suffering the consequences he said we’d have. Apparently we were supposed to let NPCs objectify and threaten us because that’s a ‘fun thing to do’. This was not received with open arms and the DM did not seem to understand why and then immediately skipped to a scenario where our PCs are traveling on the road and get ejaculated on by a field of jizzing mushrooms while us players sat there on the Twitch stream in disbelief this was actually happening. Tone deaf, much? But wait, there’s more.
Six of us players decided we didn’t need to put up with this sort of behavior in D&D. This session egregiously violated the core principle of why this group was assembled in the first place. We were very polite in composing a Dear John letter stating that we were not comfortable continuing the campaign with him after these events. The DM doesn’t respond to our letter, and instead several days after the letter was posted to our discord, sends one of the female admins to basically ask us why we’re being so offended over the situation and to tell us that D&D was never a safe space and try and chalk up our response as an overreaction to ‘losing an encounter’ This admin has absolutely no involvement or relation to us whatsoever and attempts to use the fact they were in the US Navy to explain why we’re sensitive and need to get over it and blames us for picking the fight in the first place. The DM, who is the only person who the letter was addressed to, has never responded to the group.
This whole situation was utter garbage and I hope no one ever gets baited in by this DM like we were. It was really cruel and shitty and the complete lack of accountability and responsibility by the DM is absolutely disgusting. Receipts of the correspondence linked below.