DnD Story #108 – So A Man Walks Into A Church…

About a year and a half ago we were playing a campaign where we were at level 6 (3.5E for those interested) In the current story we were attempting to rescue the


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Queen from her castle as the current king had killed her husband and took her for a wife. Our current base of operations was the basement of the church of pelor where one of the head priests was helping accomplish our task along with some mercenaries he hired. Now our plan was to fake her death by making a dead doppleganger of her and replacing her with it. To do this we needed 4 things 1000g worth of crushed rubies, a lock of her hair, a sentient item and a dead body. Today we will be telling the story of how the dead body was “Obtained”. So to gather these items quickly we split up our sycthe wielding fighter was in charge of gathering the body. So she walks to the bad part of town finds a shady bar (so far so good i guess) she finds the drunkest patron there and asks him if he has family or loved ones he says no. So she offers him 5g to help her move some things. So she leads him back to the church where he immediatly apologizes to the warrior for being drunk (he thought she was a sister of the church) as she motioned him in she took her sythe and swung it straight to his back….in the middle of the day….. With priests not aware of us praying right there watching this happen…well guess what the man lives with 1 hp as for bad dmg roll and is immediatly surrounded by priests helping him and our fighter being restrained. the head priest comes down and begans to try to rectify the situation. Our fighter ends up paying 1000g to this man, This drumkard, this legend and as he gets the money he glares at our fighter and leaves. The priest then takes the remainder of the day to berate and yell at our dumb friend as if she were a schoolgirl. Heres the kicker after all that we still needed a body so instead of getting her money back she just goes to the morgue and buys one.

Long story short please dont attack innocent people in broad daylight in a church its just rude.


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