DnD Story #101 – The Little People


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So a few years back, me and a few friends played a Christmas themed mini-campaign in Pathfinder. The setting was,  we were a village of small creatures  (Gnomes and halflings and such) and for 200 years we had been free of the evil Saint Claws who had forced our people to make presents for humans. We had a Gnome Sorcerer named Jack Frost (Me), an alchemist (who was a cook) halflings with a enchanted spoon that could deal hot or cold damage (to keep foods hot or cold) named Mama Smiths, a Quickling Rogue who thought he was a Gnome and a Deertaur Monk named Ruddy who was the town drunk. We had 3 major intcounters during this game. The first incounter was a female Lich who was Mrs. Claws. She was honestly a nice lady who knew that her former husband was evil, but was forced through magic to stop anyone from crossing the bridge that leads towards the Saints keep, though she would not attack us just for being there. So we made camp on our side of the bridge trying to figure out how to get past the Lady Lich without dying. So while my character (Jack Frost) threw Snowballs at her for fun, Mama Smiths (the alchemist cook) decided to make Mrs. Claws a cup oh hot choco… with a powerful kick. She had made the hot choco into a deadly bomb that blew up inside of Mrs. Claws stomach and basicly cut her Hp in half, we then jumped her and killed her in 1 round. The next encounter was a cave full of Sophisticated Owlbears wearing top hats who loved playing Kevin Ball (which was a board game where the rules were made up, made no sense, and was almost impossible to win). We were there to steal there hats and return them to the Owlbear's Master. They threatened to kill us for the insult of taking there hats (which made them sophisticated) and said they would let us leave with the hats if we beat them at Kevin Ball. The game was ultimately won by the Quickling Rogue when a rule was instated that anyone wearing a hat loses. The Owlbears (though sophisticated but not very bright) stated that his hair was a hat, that he cut off with his knife. The Owlbears almost killed us after this. Our last encounter was with the final boss. Saint Claws himself. We were in this small icy boxed canyon, with pipes coming out all of the walls, and skeletal Raindeer flying over head, ice pillars surrounded an alter in the distance. Saint Claws jumped into a pipe and came out on one of the far walls. Our Deertaur had rolled the highest initiative, in his drunken stooper, he had the grand idea to jump off the ledge we were on and punch Saint Claws. He rolled a Nat 20… needless to say our DM had his face in his palm at this point… and how he described what had transpired is as follows. "You jump off the ledge and nose dive the Saint, between your size, strength, and fall speed, you manage to punch his arm off, as he struggles to keep his pipe portal open, he fails to maintain concentration and he splits in half, falling out of the pipe and laying lifeless along the icy ground." It was a good Christmas.


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