DnD Story #104 – Raptor Jesus


So one of the fun things our DM does, is if you kill an enemy from a critical or somehow do an obseen amount of damage, the extra overkill becomes a graphic murder of some kind and you have a chance to damage other enemies too. 

So I'm a Raptoran Ranger in 3.5, most of the rest of the party were melee or tanks as a whole. Only thing my party ever saw me do was shoot from the ground or the air. We came to a town looking for a criminal organization. We all did our gather information checks and ran a few errands for the town so they'd let us know even in their fear where this gang that had ruined their life was hiding out. 

They'd been hiding out by using one of the more generally sketchy taverns in town to begin with. We walked in and instantly all heads turned too us and got ready to fight. Someone had been near the door and locked us in. As an archer, i got up on a table and started shooting. All the melee characters ran deeper in, and no one had ever seen me in melee, so they basically just assumed I'd shoot things to death before they got to me or oh well. I had two shots per round and a decent bow  So it was possible. But locked In a whole tavern of people, highly unlikely to avoid melee. 

Since i hadnt really left the door, and the rest were more  the threat, only a couple enemies came after me. Unfortunately in tight quarters didn't take long for  them to make it to me. So finally i had to pull out my Scythe. I'd pegged them for a bit of damage already so i went after the one who was pretty bloodied  to begin with. Nat 20. 

For those that don't know, scythe does 2d4 dmg and has a x4 crit. Welp, this dude was pretty hurt already, so since we wanted to have fun, we went for overkill effect. 

First time ever in melee, they hear my battle cry… then watch as i chop the dudes head off with enough force  to fly it into my other flanks body and kill him before hitting a simple patron and the head lands on his table.

Look at my dm and tell him i roll  too intimidate. Rolled something like a 15 or so and had a decent intimidate. Half the bar, some  innocent patrons and the gang we  were here for, proceeded to shit themselves and cower  for the rest of the battle. My archer took out half a bar fight with one melee attack.



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