DnD Story #128 – Accidental Murder Machine


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At least a decade ago (so some of the details are a bit fuzzy) I played in my first Rolemaster campaign. I rolled a halfling rogue – I was definitely power gaming, but normally when I roll characters I create things like doombat riding halfling alchemists or goliath necromancers. Anyway, I rolled this toon to spec – he was good at all the rogue things, and not designed for combat AT ALL. Also in the party were a fighter, a ranger I think, and some otehr fairly standard subtypes – all forms of combat were well represented by other members of the party. Anyhow, one of our first fights ended up being against a large number of goblins (20+) and their leader, a Hobgoblin, who was the big bad for this leg of the adventure. Not having a ranged weapon, and not wanting to wade into the midst of a horde of goblins, I shoved the sorceror out of the way and screamed "MOVE! I have ROCKS to throw!" And so I did. I began just hucking rocks and critting like a madman – if you've ever played rolemaster, you know that it has those sweet crit tables. I was cleaning house on these goblins, and at some point I ended up near the hobgoblin. There were probably 8 goblins left – I decided to sneak up on the hobbo from behind and hit him with my dagger. Crit. Big crit. The rolls dictated that I snuck up behind the boss baddie, did a backflip onto his shoulders while shouting a warcry, and jammed my dagger into his eye socket. One hitter quitter. As a result, the DM decided that the remaining goblins had a crisis of morale and fled the scene. Later in the same group, a demon took the fighetrs eye and then had his head exploded by yours truly (who had acquired a sling and a few magical bullets at this time), several highly skilled assassins got merc'd out by thrown rocks while climbing a trellis to our rooms (more head explodey), and I bungled an acid trap, which resulted in my caharcter having split personalities – roleplayed by switching every session between halfling rogue and halfling demon knight. The class paladin had some serious problems after that. We were eventually wiped by a group of monastic liches, but damn was that character fun to play.


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