DnD Story #161 – Misadventures in The New Land

AD&D 2e. First time DM, schooling first time players, and we're all pretty much 20 y/o. I pretty much let them build whatever for their first PC. My first mistake.


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We enter the story as four characters that couldn’t possibly be more disparate. Our first is a female human Fighter/Thief named Nissa. She is the child of a gypsy woman who settled down in a large port city when she was with child, choosing to stay afterward. Nissa’s father was an adventurer, who craved the life of adventure more than family, but left his child with plenty of stories, sparking a great wanderlust. She joined a mercenary band and made a name for herself quickly among them, and she was transferred to a small village across the continent. Our next character is a male drug addicted half elf bard who fried his brain after all of the magical and natural drugs he’s done and lost all of his memories. His name is Doctor Rockso, and his player insisted that he had a huge *ahem* place. On a really bad trip, he made his way to a hidden beach cove of very close minded and sheltered Dwarves. Dwarves in bikinis, because its the beach. He gets captured and makes friends with a super hairy, well tanned and toned AF male dwarf ranger named Igor, who busted him out in exchange for guidance through the outside world, so they set out together in the dead of night. For the final character, we have a simple female gnome named Aoi. A gnome that is a bard. Okay, a gnomish bard that is also the human equivalent age of five. She’s on an adventure because she was such a nuisance that her family kicked her out into the wilderness. Inept and homeless, the gnome aimlessly toddled through the woods until a pasing caravan catches her attention and she follows it wherever it may lead. 

BACK TO NISSA: On her way to her new post, makes camp with five underlings to expand the mercenary group’s name. Deep in the night, Nissa hears something and wakes up to see all five of her underlings dead and a dark figure looming over her. She subdues the figure andrestrains it just as another, smaller figure comes out of the undergrowth with a torch. She sees a mostly naked, super hairy and toned dwarven man moving toward her and a blitzed half elf bound beneath her. A deal is struck and the unconscious half elf will be escorted to Nissa’s new post village for proper inprisonment. Moving into the next day, Nissa and Igor load the still unconscious Rockso into the marc company’s supply cart and make way for the village.

AT THE VILLAGE: Aoi arrives first and decides to look for some food. Tavern? Nope, library, lets eat some books. The other three arrive shortly after and make for the prison. Rockso awakens and challenges Nissa to a duel for his freedom. Nissa agrees, as she’s been wanting to slaughter this fool since she “met” him. Long story short, Rockso wins, but is convinced by Igor to go to prison until he’s completely sober. Aoi gets kicked out of the library for eating books. Still hungry, Aoi looks for more food. Tavern? Nope, you guessed it. Prison. She asks the guard for food, and he obliges the small child, taking her inside for an apple. Who’s in the prison? Still drugged up Rockso. They talk for a bit, he wants food, she wants to help him. Gets the apple, splits it, all cool. Now Aoi wants inside the cell with her new friend. Guard has had enough and leaves. What’s the smart thing to do now? Steal a key? Nope. Squeeze through the bars? Nah fam. Lets BEND THE FREAKING BARS TO GET INSIDE OF A PRISON CELL. (For those of you who don’t know, 2e has a set number, per strength, for bending bars.) This toddler gnome manages to make the roll to bend bars and gets inside the DRUGGED UP half elf PRISONER’s cell and they chill for a while.

LETS FAST FORWARD A BIT: Everyone has come to terms(ish) with the dynamic and is taking the first quest for the merc company, who sent a liaison ahead for this kind of thing. They must clear out the tavern’s basement of whatever is down there. Get down in the basement, its tiny giant centipedes. Igor fails his poison save on the first attack and is out of commission for the battle. Other three fight the centipedes, find the hole they came from and follow it through to a large cavern littered with holes in the walls and a larger hole in the far wall about four feet off the ground overlooking a smattering of sacks. Loot the sacks, rags, pots and pans, mundane stuff. More centipedes in the large wall hole, fight, return, reward, etc.

FAST FORWARD AGAIN: Scorched caraven comes into town bearing reports of small dragons attacking the roads. Gnome decides to follow reports of a rock that looks like the most perfect butt to ever have existed instead of fight dragons. Follow a path out of town and into the hills. Find a hollowed out hill with two firedrakes and a dead guy, that actually turns out to be a revenant that I nerfed. Beat the enemies, get loot, including several firedrake eggs, and back to town. Take the eggs to a mage and realise that TAKING FIREDRAKE EGGS WAS A BAD IDEA. WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED? Deep into the night the town burns as four other firedrakes seek THEIR eggs from the nest. Town hides in the tavern cellar and centipede cave as their lives burn away above them. Next day our party decides that they should leave before the town finds out that its their fault.


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