DnD Story #169 – Dire Rat Cock Block


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This particular group is neutral to evil characters only, all very questionable. My character, Ailas, is an extremely cocky sun elf that’s in the process of turning into a demon.

Our party, after escaping a Goblin prison and then setting a town on fire (which is a whole story in itself), is eager to get moving. So we bargain with this ship that’s about to leave habor, the ship is owned by monks who worship the “Goddess Of Cleansing Fire” and their one condition of letting us on board is that we must go to their nightly service that they hold at least once. So the party complies. We go to the service, hear all they have to say about cleansing the world with fire, and then it comes to the blessing. My character, being a duskblade, has a firebolt spell. Also, being the attention whore that he is, decides to use this to his full advantage. As his turn comes for his blessing he uses this spell to light his hands on fire and be all like “Oh! I feel the goddess within me!” and makes a huge deal about it, which of course amazes all these fire worshipers. He then used all of the attention he was getting to sleep with a good number of the female monks on the ship.

So while on that ship, literally all he tried to do was sleep with every girl he could. Because of this, his pants were down for a good amount of time. One time while he was in the cargo area getting it on with one of the monks, a dire rat attacked. So he had to actually fight the rat with his Johnson out. When the fight ended he tried to pick up where he left off with the girl but she just ran off after that near death experience. I feel sorry for her, Ailas feels sorry for himself.


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