DnD Story #217 – The Fantasic Head Rolling Adventure of The Grindhouse

“Why did our cleric have to be sick?!”


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We run a secondary 3.5 campaign named Grindhouse. We live in a town that has been cursed with an Obelisk that generates monsters at midnight precisely. In exchange for free housing and 5sp every day we have signed up as a guard shift for the obelisk. With each new creature it generates, the landscaping changes as well. On this particular day the obelisk generated scorpions. No, not giant scorpions or terrifying soul eating ones, just simple scorpions with 4 HP scurrying around the desert sand dunes. As the party enters the arena we realize our cleric has called in sick. Not a good thing when you’re all level one. After being pinged by scorpions, each party member is down to 2 HP except for a Barbarian who took 4 temporary negs to Con and fell to -1 HP.

The next day the three guards show up (Barbarian is recovering in bed that day and the cleric is still sick.) The group sees an eagle flying around, but is surprised by a second eagle that dives and claws at the halfling rogue, knocking them unconscious. Two greataxe swings later and a pile of feathers is all that remains. 3 of the 4 guards are at 1 HP and the 4th is at 11 HP starting the third day.

Upon entering we notice mountains. Massive mountains with caves and weirdly enough something shimmering from inside a cave very close to us. The rogue fumbles on a spot check and on a random die roll becomes the one that is targeted by a sneak attack. The grimlock crits and rolls max damage. 88 total. The rogues head drops to the ground and rolls a few feet, followed by the delayed thud of his body collapsing. The two barbarians become enraged upon seeing their guard member slaughtered and both crit on attacks. A metalic clang is heard as a dead Grimlock falls to the ground, leaving the three guards left to stare in shock and horror.

RIP Beau Softstep, one hell of a halfling rogue that just happened to really suck at seeing things.


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