DnD Story #242 – This is why I chose bard.

Never trust a Bard with Charm Person and extremely high Charisma not to find a way to screw shit up for you, DMs.


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So me and some buddies started an online Pathfinder game recently.  Today was actually our first session.  We made our characters:  Myself (Gnome Bard) a Human Monk, a Half Elf Druid, and a Human Rogue, and are recruited by a noble lady on a quest to find some missing people, which we accept (after I manager to roll a good persuasion check in order to get some more money out of her as a reward).  So we travel to the docks of this particular city, as it is a good place with a lot of foot traffic to talk to people about these missing people.  I flag down a guard, and roll a diplomacy check on him and get him to tell him what he knows:  people are vanishing, then suddenly reappearing in random locations without any memories whatsoever, not even their names.  Usually, though, after a few days they remember who they are but nothing else.  We catch wind that there was some sort of shady meeting going down between a slave seller and someone looking to purchase in an abandoned Inn not too far from where we were.  This meeting was going to be held at midnight, so we had plenty of time.  We make our way over there, and decide to scope the place out.  We determine that there is noone inside yet, so we all get set in hiding positions and ge ready to spy on/potentially ambush whoever comes in.  So my little gnome hides in a broken ale barrel, and the druid hides between some barrels since he cant quite fit inside.  Our rogue has a nice hiding spot in a dark corner and we are set to go.  

We noticed some lights moving around in the main room through some holes in the walls, and took this as a sign someone had arrived.  We, very stealthily, sneak to the doorway leading from this spot we had into the main hall and take positions on either side of the door.  Should someone come through, we would be ready for them.   I am on the left side of the door…the rest of my party is on the right.  Suddenly a wizard of sorts appears out of nowhere infront of us, and casts a cone of cold against my party (all but me, as I was off to the side), stunning our rogue.  Obviously this was meant to be a difficult encounter that our DM had cooked up for us.  He wanted to break us in and throw something hard at us fairly early on.

He did not anticipate me, the Bard. 

My first move:  Charm Person….success.  Whelp now I have a new best friend.  Let's see what to do with him. I ask him what was going on and he told me that he made up some fake story about people vanishing in order to trick some "stupid heroes" into his trap, and that he was waiting for them.  He also informed us that the lights we saw were all just him using a minor illusion making floating balls of light.  I convinced him that we were there to help him out and that we saw some shady figured moving outside and attempted to use a ghost sounds cantrip to distract him so our rogue could just backstab assassinate him….I fail the roll.  ON TO BLAN B: I decide I want to convince him to turn himself into the town guard, as there is a bounty on his head and I, as his bestest friend, would split the "1000g" reward with him 50/50 after I sprung him from prison the next day (note: actual reward for him was 100g for petty crimes).  The DM laughs at this idea, but has me roll a Bluff check.  Nat 20.  "WHAT A GREAT IDEA!" Now he thinks he will get more money than if he had simply killed the "stupid heroes" and we convince him to give us his stuff for…."safe keeping"(2 potions of Cure Light Wounds, 1 Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds, 1 Masterwork Silver Dagger, 1 Amethyst, 35G.  I took the dagger, 1 CLW potion and the gold, rogue quickly pocketed the Amethyst, Druid took a CLW potion and the Monk took the CMW potion) so we can return it to him when we break him out since, ya know…guards'll just confiscate it all. So he lets us tie him up and we bring him out to the local guards. Before we take him, though, our rogue also decides to steal the guys pants out of spite for stunning him.  To be fair, I did slip a note into his robe pocket saying:  

"Sorry for tricking you, pal, but we just saved your life.  The other outcome would've been you attacked us:  we killed you.  I know you're probably REALLY pissed at us right now, but look on the bright side….you're alive.  Also: thank you for your GENEROUS donations you have given to our cause…friend."

So yeah…completely ruined my DMs encounter with two simple rolls.  He planned for this guy to mess us up pretty bad. But hey, we got a bunch of free gear from our new friend (and the rogue got new pants).


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