So i joined a home brew game consisting of a Dragonbourne Paladin, Dwarf barbarian, Half-elf ranger, Hafling druid, and a Half-elf bard. The bard oh god the bard. So this story revolves around the antics of our bard, who is named Siegfried Casanova. As you can probably guess he is bit of a womanizer, but has about as much success as Germans are at winning world wars.
First off (this happened before I joined) the party was sent to escort a wagon of supplies to the next town. No supplies had been getting through and no one had come from that direction. So one would deduce that something is attacking travelers on the road, right? Right. So our Bard decides that while on the road ,when he isn't bickering with our Barbarian, it would be a great idea to get out his loot and start singing. About the time he started singing his second lyric and arrow flies out from the woods and strikes him in the right shoulder. Undaunted he then stares right into the Dwarfs eyes and belts out "SHOT IN THE ARM AND YOU'RE TO BLAME. YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME!"
Later on we had just returned to town as heroes (I had joined by this point) after being sent to clear out a goblin cave so the trade routes can reopen, everyone held their own pretty evenly. So as we get to the tavern i find out that Siegfried has been pining for a particular barmaid and has had no luck. So looking to change this the group all collectively decided that we were going to get Siegfried laid. we were talking him up like he had cleared out the goblin cave himself and what a great hero he was. Our poor druid had no idea what was going. So after a rousing toast our hero bard ask to walk the barmaid Anna home. As they were walking the rest of the party as you can imagine wasn't going to miss this,so we all got up and follow at a decent distance. The mood was perfect. Clear cool night sky, the street lanterns were lit making a romantic glow on the street. They get to her house and the rest of the party are all stacked up one head over another peering around a shop corner like the scooby doo gang waiting in great anticipation. Ana gets to her doorway, turns to Siegfried, smiles, he looks deep with in hers eyes and then says…sigh…and yes he actually says this "So can i come into your house and look for strangers?" We all hit our foreheads at ounce. Of course Ana declines, giggles, then leaves into her house.
So we rush over and are like "What the hell man. Can I come into your house and look for strangers? REALLY?" To which he replies "To hell with her. I got my eye on the Half-orc lady that works down at the docks."