The endgame part of the Epic-tier of a campaign that turned out to be about killing not just one, but two gods. Tiamat… /and/ Bahamut.
The party laid siege to a city under which an elemental conflux is located, needing that to forge their god-killing weapons. In the process the party has crashed a dying ancient red dragon into a palace and other assorted Epic, Mad Max-ey bullshittery but THAT is not actually the funny story here.
Anyhow – flash forward a few encounters in the besieged city, down under the (now kinda ruined) palace and into the elemental conflux site for…
With Tiamat’s Avatar. Human size and shape but admittedly that just makes the breath weapon and all all the more awesome.
And so it begins…
At about 23:30-ish.
The party gets completely split up for about the first time in the over a year-long campaign, breaking up all their (our) carefully munchkined combos of combat advantages and such. Therefore – the fight kinda drags on. Hour and a half later, the Paladin (of Raven Queen) is excited ’bout killing stuff (after two sessions of ‘abstinence’ ), the Cleric (me) is curious about how this’ll play out and (as usual) not really doing damage, the Warlock is kinda bouncing back and forth between sleepy and super-excited about pumping out tons of damage…
… and the Wizard is almost asleep.
But! Tiamat’s Avatar is almost dead! … /but/ ‘almost dead’ still means several more rounds. Wanting this to be over quickly the Wizard…
Wizard (sleepily): “Imma Disintegrate this bitch… gimme… *grabs dice* Or Prismatic Spray… *rolls* That’s… *fumbles through her the paper with glued-on Power cards* …versus Ref- DAMMIt! Wrong spell. Well now there’s a Maw behind her or something. So. Versus Reflex… that’s a hit, right? [Yes, it is a hit.] Right. For… *sleepily fumbles with dice for the damage roll* ”
Wizard (apologetic yet somewhat resigned, because tiiired!): “Sorry guys. Wrong spell. Wrong spell. I wanted to Prismatic Spray her but it’s late and I looked and the pages are all-”
Cleric (fine, that’s me): “Gimme the Power Card… Elemental Maw… Actually that Pulls 2 squares on hit… and if the target is pulled into the Maw’s square it… takes [about half the damage] and is… teleported to a square within 20 squares of you. Prone. And Dazed.”
Wizard (suddenly awake): “Oooh… so I get to do MORE damage?” *rolls damage*
DM: *looks at damage, notes it down… gives the ‘You just killed my bossmonster! D: ‘ look* “Teleported, prone and… Dazed? Well anyway… there is Tiamat’s Avatar… dead.”
After being sucked in, chewed up and spat out. Prone and dazed. I don’t think there could’ve been a more humiliating/un-epic, yet EPIC end to the bossfight.
Well, maybe me (Cleric) finishing it off with 50 points of CRITICAL damage.