DnD Tales From The TableTop (Episode #12)

Happens on Pathfinder, Rise of the Runelords campaign, I'm the DM.

The group is a human barbarian, a human druid, a human cleric and a halfling ranger. We were playing since the morning and it was about midnight when they encountered a quasit.

Long story short, the fight was way too long (about 2 hours), because they kept failing the rolls and the barbarian couldn't reach her. At some point, the cleric (10 STR and 10 DEX) proposed to launch the animal companion at the quasit from an elevated spot (about 6 meters high). Epic fails, the animal falls lamentably on the lower ground.

Then, the barbarian, who is constantly challenging the druid's companion, asks to be launched. Nat 20 on the STR check for the cleric, 25 Acrobatics for the barbarian, nat 20 on attack check, critic confirmed. He sliced the quasit in 2 halves mid-air before getting down on both his legs near the living animal.

Everybody applauded.

In one of my first 2nd Edition campaigns, I played a wizard. For those who have never played that edition, wizards got a d4 for hit points.

During the party member introductions, the other wizard in the party says to my character "You're a wizard too? We should share a tent & make some magic together."
I ask the DM if I can slap him, he says yes & I roll a 20. I roll a d4 for damage & double it doing 6 points of damage, knocking the other wizard out.

The party laughs and throws him on the back of the cart & we continue on our delivery job.

D&D 5e in Homebrew world of Watheron

A little bit of background: I’m the DM for this group that consists of level 5s and is a Goliath Gunslinger, a Human Ranger, a Dwarf Cleric, and a Half-Elf Warlock...and we have one more player, but that’s where this story comes in.

This certain player has the only characters in our PC graveyard, and he now has 3 in there. At first, he played Rhogar, the Dragonborn Barbarian. Rhogar died due to a disagreement that turned into a fight between him and the Warlock, over Rhogar’s dark steel Greatsword that had gotten stolen and then the Warlock got back and said he was going to keep (ultimately was a joke that led to a small halfhearted fight..but he still did)
Next character was actually the girlfriend of Rhogar, a Shifter Blood Hunter named Lily, who was introduced as a mercenary that was hired by the House that the party is employed by, and she knew that Rhogar had died but had no clue how (and the Warlock was on a different plane at this time due to him being absent in person).
So fast forward to first combat encounter, which actually was a little cameo from Borderlands 2 with the town of Sanctuary and a quest given to them by Claptrap (this was fun to homebrew for me)
Well, the quest was the birthday party quest for the game, with a twist. When the party came back with no guests and said no one wanted to come, Claptrap shrugged it off and decided to have fun with the party (which at this time only included the Gunslinger, Ranger, and Lily due to absent players)
Well as the party goes on Claptrap gets depressed and angry, and turns and blames the party for no one coming, and Attacks them.
Long story short his attacks were a dart that had a chance of healing or hurting (he wasn’t good at mixing the chemicals yet) and a buzzsaw that came out of his head.
So during the fight, Lily goes down, and the Gunslinger is trying to get her up while the Ranger keeps pumping damage into Claptrap.
Ultimately Lily fails two death saves and passes two others, then gets stabilized and goes back down (the player himself goes down in combat a lot) and got back to 2 failed saves.
Now, little insight, we do hidden death saves in our group, so the DM secretly rolls them so no one knows, not even the player.
So there I go to roll the next save, knowing that Lily could be dead in her first combat encounter (and we started our session at 3pm, this was at 6pm) and as I rolled it rolled a nat1
In the end, Claptrap felt horrible and calmed down realizing his mistake, and was so depressed that the Gunslinger went with his request and put him out of his misery, and had a funeral service for Lily and Claptrap, and then we rerolled the new character
A Fallen Aasimar Samurai in the Faction of a Thousand Swords, let’s see how this one goes

So in my current group we got separated and I ended up in a fight with the guards and the town's people. I end up fighting a guard and then the lady helps me hide but she ends up getting up arrested. So I hide in the bushes break back into her house only to find she has a daughter so I convince her I'm her mom even though I'm a tiefling bright red hair pale white skin horns claws. I sing her a song to get her to sleep and now I'm a mom

I just remembered a funny pathfinders story.
This session was the campaign finale, and it was me a half-elf sorcerer and an orc ranger. By this point we've established a country of refugees from an elven country we've been fighting with since day one. basically the government was run by power-hungry jerk, and we were labelled as terrorists. fast forward our capital city is under siege, and we the last remaining fighters are the main party against the black knight (A recurring antagonist, and a rival of the orc ranger) We fought each other to a stalemate, and as a twist an enemy wizard summons a tarrasque outside the city. (Don't ask how i don't know.) In a random attempt, the orc ranger tries to befriend the black knight, and gives him a hug. The gm just goes with it and has him roll diplomacy. Natural 20. They become best friends, and we walk outside the city to deal with the wizard. The orc attempts to befriend the wizard this time. ANOTHER Natural 20 for the hug. The wizard starts crying about his dead wife, and sends away the tarrasque. (Once again don't ask how i don't know. we just went with it.) The moral of the story. Critical hugs are op.

Here's a pathfinders story that isn't a joke story. It's the story about the epic death of my character Curtis Raloqen. He was a human Magus given the vigilante title of the knight of day. At this point in time his main goal is protecting a friend who he owes his life to. At the end of this session she, and her sister were captured by a tyrant king. He is a powerful magician (Class unknown) He loves making deals that result in his benefit, and is a genius when it comes to making these deals. At this point Curtis has come to the conclusion that he'd either have to storm a heavily armed castle alone (Very impossible) or make a deal. Long story short. The session ends with Curtis held in place while the tyrant executes Curtis in front of the crying girl Curtis swore to protect. True to his word the tyrant released Curtis' friends. He agreed to this deal because Curtis has been a thorn in his side for ages, and needed to be removed for his plans to go smoothly. However this deal would backfire very heavily on the tyrant. Curtis was famous as a hero, and helped lead what resistance there was against the tyrant. In the next couple sessions news of his execution, and the tyrants plans, are spreading across the planet raising an uproar. In the end, Curtis is getting the last laugh.

I just wanted to share this story since I loved how it ended. The emotional drama was crazy good. Rather depressing, but very satisfying at times