DnD Tales From The TableTop (Episode #15)

During one of our sessions, our party (a 

male half-orc barbarian [Me], a female human cleric [my youngest brother], a male dragonborn warlock [my younger brother], and a female tiefling rogue [my cousin's younger sister]) came across a travelling band of mercs along the road. Our mission was to infiltrate their base and (hopefully) relay information back to our quest-giver. Sadly, our noobness (Yes, that's a word now.) and indecisiveness led to us being stopped by said band of mercs. We were consequently questioned and, in our panic, could not respond properly. Worse, the DM (my cousin) said there about 50 of them and we were a few steps away from TPK if we didn't do anything sensible.

It was then that the cleric stepped up. Or should I say, my brother. All he did was convince the band to allow us passage. This sounds easy, but the DM did not roll for persuasion checks the whole time. It was basically my brother applying all of his time playing games like Dragon Age and Mass Effect and taking to heart the various ways dialogue plays out in said games to pull it off. In the end, we ended up becoming part of the group without a scratch all thanks to my brother's IRL diplomatic skills.

Since this post didn't include anything funny (as posts in this group usually do), the first thing I did when we arrived was pick a fight with one of the orc leaders. I lost an arm and some of my teeth in the process. In retaliation, I killed him and took over his part of the army. But they didn't like me and I had to fight 20 other guys to prove my worth. I won them all with just one arm.

Oh boy, do I have a spicy new story for you. Consider these tails to be a series that I'm going to title "Misadventures from the Basement," because there are going to be a lot more of them coming...sometime. Anywho.

So we recently got a new group of guys together who were interested in D&D. My friend and I were both excited beyond reason, as he was to be the DM for the session while his Dad (our normal DM) and I played characters with the new bunch.

Anyone ever play "Quest for the Silver Sword?" Because that's precisely the module my friend had us playing. Skipping the more intricate workings of roleplaying, he instead accelerated the story so that we arrived at the Keep sooner. This, as you all might be guessing, is where the shenanigans may officially begin.

Our party consisted of Brother Rowland, a holy cleric of Pelor; Pavius Antharian (myself), a dashing thief with a taste for the extravagant; Tor Something-Beard (I forget his last name), a chaotic dwarf with absolutely no concept of morals; Fruror Dragonsbane, a wizard who was just chilling; and Fajey Badgey, another thief who made lots of bad decisions.

More on that later.

I might add, before beginning our trip, that Fajey decided early on it would be a good idea to try and steal from the leader of the town we were saving. Brother Rowland noticed almost immediately and Fajey nearly got caught (and executed, mind you) before we'd even really begun. This was Bad Decision #1.

So skip in to about an hour into the adventure. We had deftly slain all of our foes up to the large hall in the middle of the Fortress, making our way through the left wing but skipping three rooms from the middle area. No biggie. For those that have not played it, I'll put a SPOILER ALERT right here before you read on.

In the great hall, there is a cube of green slime that falls from the ceiling and starts to advance. Brother Rowland and I had to stop our friends from trying to hit it. From there, we made a giant puddle of oil on the floor and lit it. The slime died, we lived, it was good.

Cue the dwarf immediately (I'm talking right after the ooze was pronounced dead) searching the room. He found Gauntlets of Ogre Power (which myself and the good Brother knew about, but the others did not). Then, the other thief searched and found a magic shortsword.

Keep in mind that this is all from a random treasure table.

So we're pumped up now. Two magic items from a trash room? Hell yes! And then we lost that "Oomph" almost immediately afterwards because our dwarf nearly nuked himself from orbit. There's a magic skull in one of the rooms that buzzes like a beacon when you detect magic on it. Our dwarf picked up a pebble and threw it, blowing up the skull and taking out 6 of his 7 HP. Our cleric didn't have any more healing.

So now we're doing a boss battle in the final room and the dwarf is hunkered one room back because he's down to 1 HP. Four large rats come out of the walls, summoned by the boss, and he panics. His best bet, we figure, is to run. That gives each rat an attack, but his AC is 1 thanks to some lucky rolls and purchases.

The final rat critically hits him for 6 damage. Oh the confusion and chaos this created.

Bear with me during this last part, if you're still reading.

So Brother Rowland goes out to help the dwarf, because while the dwarf is Chaotic, Rowland is still Lawful and a healer. He smashes all 4 rats and stops the dwarf from bleeding out, though he's dead if anything else happens at this point. Back in the boss room, the other thief and I have just killed the wererat leader and left him for dead, mayhaps to regroup and look for final loot, when something absolutely stupid happens.

Fajey Badgey puts on the bone crown that the wererat was wearing. It sinks teeth into his head and drives him nuts. He downs me and Brother Rowland in a series of lucky hits, then starts trying to revive the dead body of the wererat. The wizard steps in and puts him to sleep, then tries to take off the crown. Normally you just die, but since it was their first time, Fajey got a save vs Death. Failed it.

Now we're down 3 members, one of the party is dead, and the Wizard can't heal us. Fantastic. He sets up a fire, drags our bodies there, and then we wait. Brother Rowland and I wake up hours later, where he prays for his spells and I try to just collect myself. The dwarf is still out cold.

Then one of the elves inside the Keep, which had been frozen solid, actually wakes up and grabs the item we're all thinking about: The Silver Sword itself. He proceeds to collapse, our cleric heals him slightly, and then he's off to go find a lootbox!

Nope. I'm getting suspicious, so I follow him and slit his throat while he's distracted. Now I have the Silver Sword, the town is saved, and we miss out on any other magic items because we're too scared something else will explode.

That, my friends, is how 4 idiots and a cleric somehow survived Frozen's trashed spinoff movie; Cold. Hope you enjoyed the behemoth of a tail. Next time it will be more fun and less story 

Decided to go to the convention and some people played a premade adventure in not! Empirical China and one of the mission was getting the help of jade ogre school. My character, the premade rogue who was given to me, learned 4 moves of that school and there comes a moment when two schools clash each other in tea place. Easy to say, we were using the moves of Jade ogre school in the fight. My ally, a gnome was getting gang kicked and I on one table decided to jump on another table, rolled 1. Faceplanted the floor, got up and proudly shouted " This was the fifth move of JAde ogre school. Ogre learns humility and respect! "The crowd went wild, the players laughed. Managed to get on the wanted table and decided to use sumo move on enemy that was on floor. Rolled 20 and sent him in oblivion ( aka the underfloor) by stepping on his toes. Same thing happened later against the one who learned me those moves. Also learned how to make noodles. That session was full of laughs and my weird shenanigans. All in all, weird good/funny shenanigans and good people = good time and lot of laugh.

well im in highschool right now and i first got into dnd because of my brother. my brother was telling me a tale of his character ruckus. ruckus sounded totally opposite from what my brother was and it was complete fiction. i was walking to my class one day when i was encountered by some of his old friends and they wanted to play some dnd with me. i was a little optimistic so i said id give it a try. i loved how the game was portraid by the GM and to be honest it isnt the same as it was when i started. i am trying to DM now but i took a break. i realized that i dont have a story based mindset like some people. if i were to just play the game id have a blast. no matter what happens. my first character was a teifling paladin who prayed to his own god named odam salama. he had the head of odin the mindset of obama and had the body of a salami. he was named king benzor the 17th because he had made love to every creature in the lands. his kingdom is made of his children. i did this for his backstory for the fact that i know he will die. when i got done playing that first game i saw the whole world in a new limelight. i saw the story and the characters of movies, books and tv shows. i saw everything in an aspect of dnd. when i try and get other people into dnd i tell them how it has changed the way i see things. most of the time they love it too. i will always have fun with dnd.

During one of our sessions, our party (a male half-orc barbarian [Me], a female human cleric [my youngest brother], a male dragonborn warlock [my younger brother], and a female tiefling rogue [my cousin's younger sister]) came across a travelling band of mercs along the road. Our mission was to infiltrate their base and (hopefully) relay information back to our quest-giver. Sadly, our noobness (Yes, that's a word now.) and indecisiveness led to us being stopped by said band of mercs. We were consequently questioned and, in our panic, could not respond properly. Worse, the DM (my cousin) said there about 50 of them and we were a few steps away from TPK if we didn't do anything sensible.

It was then that the cleric stepped up. Or should I say, my brother. All he did was convince the band to allow us passage. This sounds easy, but the DM did not roll for persuasion checks the whole time. It was basically my brother applying all of his time playing games like Dragon Age and Mass Effect and taking to heart the various ways dialogue plays out in said games to pull it off. In the end, we ended up becoming part of the group without a scratch all thanks to my brother's IRL diplomatic skills.

Since this post didn't include anything funny (as posts in this group usually do), the first thing I did when we arrived was pick a fight with one of the orc leaders. I lost an arm and some of my teeth in the process. In retaliation, I killed him and took over his part of the army. But they didn't like me and I had to fight 20 other guys to prove my worth. I won them all with just one arm.

So while everyone is talking about players being a monkey wrench to the DM's plans, I have a story. Playing AD&D with some friends, we had a human cleric, a drow fighter, and myself (High Elf Sorcerer). Well we had just met while getting equipment, and the drow and i instantly start arguing. Well she gets herself a horse and decides shes gonna go full Lady Godiva. Meanwhile I'm working on securing a hypogriff for myself. Well with some luck, i win the bet with the merchant and he lets me have his only hypigriff from the cost of some homecooked food. (The DM wasnt happy about it but allowed it cause a deal was a deal and they didnt think id actually win the bet) So while the cleric and I are trying to force this dirty (literally dirty) drow into some clothes, my hypogriff eats her horse. We start fighting. I bound her to a tree and left her. The cleric tried to help and i shoved her in my bag of holding. We never went on a quest. The DM gave up.