How 14-year-old Jacob the bard laid the Dragon Queen

I looked over at Tim, who was looking smugly at all of us. It was then, in my panic, that I knew what to do.


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Early last year, I started a campaign with my co-worker's husband, Tim, as the DM, and with my friends Justin, Teddy, and Jason. We were doing a level 15-20 5e campaign about a world where the majority race is dragons, and races like Humans, Elves and Dwarves are a minority. We were hired by the govenor of a small village to do some general "housekeeping" around the village. Justin was an Elf Cleric named Cecil, Teddy was a Dwarf Barbarian named Thirdean, Jason was a Half-Elf Rogue named Yorelor, and I was a Human Bard named Jacob. But there was one interesting characteristic about my character: he was 14 years old. My party's reaction was mostly negative at first, until they found out my plan to put all of my skill points into charisma.

We started out like most parties, raiding Goblin dens and the like, and eventually we built ourselves up after six months of weekly questing to level 20. By that time, my charisma was over 20, so I got a huge modifier on any spell I cast, which was a huge help to the party when it came to raiding dragon nests. I also, at one point, convinced a group of thieves we were ambushed by to just go away. But my best triumph was yet to come.

We were hired, on the final month of the campaign, by a powerful Dwarf lord to go and slay the queen of the Dragons. This sounded easy enough to my party, because we had raided a bunch of dragon nests in the past. "What could be so different about this one," we all thought foolishly. We started off with a litch a few rooms into the castle. This took our party a while to get through, but we got through it. Next were some hordes of zombies and mummies, cleverly hidden traps, and the like. Then, at the final room before the Dragon Queen's nest, we were split up into different rooms specifically designed for different classes. Cecil got the bard's room, where he had to convince a group of etherial "judges" to let him out of that room. Thirdean got the rogue's room, where he had to make a dextarity check every turn to dodge poison darts falling through the cieling, while having to press different pressure plates around the room to deactivate the trap and move on. Yorelor got the barbarian's room, where he had to face off against a heavily armoured minotar to move on. Jacob got the cleric's room, where he had to defeat a horde of mummies to move on. Everyone got through theirs before me, so I was left behind, trying to defeat the mummies with my measly +1 shortsword.

And there she was. The Dragon Queen in all her might and glory. Immediately, my party had to make wisdom checks to not lose a good amount of hp just from the fear. Thirdean the barbarian and Yorelor the rogue failed, losing half of their remaining hp and getting a -2 modifier on their initiative. The Dragon queen rolled fourth in initiative, being last to go. Keep in mind that through this whole battle scene, I'm still battling with the mummies. Within the first round of combat, our rogue was already down, and our cleric spent his turn curing the barbarian of his poison. Then the dragon queen downed our barbarian in the second round of combat. I looked over at Tim, who was looking smugly at all of us. It was then, in my panic, that I knew what to do. Fifth round of combat brought an end to the cleric, so there was only me, a 14-year-old bard, who was low on hp from just defeating all those mummies (the DM was alternating rounds of combat between me and the rest of my party.) 

As I stepped into the nest of the Dragon Queen, I succeeded the wisdom check, and I rolled higher than the Dragon Queen on my initiative. Then I spoke the fateful words: "I roll to charm her." Everyone looked at me, and Tim gave me the stink eye. He allowed me to role though, probably thinking I would fail miserably. I guess he forgot about my +10 charisma stat. I didn't need that, though. I rolled a natural 20. Jason facepalmed, and Justin started screaming with laughter. The DM rolled to see her belief of my charm. His face would have gone pale if, that actually happenes in real life. I asked him "So, what'dcha roll?" He responded with "Nat one…" Now everyone was roaring with laughter. Tim, the DM who had planned to have my party go out in flames, had failed.

Jacob slowly sauntered closer to the Dragon Queen. I filled in the dialogue: "This is a beautiful place you have here," he said nonchalantly. "Also, your gold and jewels are glamourous. Both are fitting for a ruler who is as beautiful and powerful as your highness." His every word oozing with charm, Jacob walked closer to the Dragon Queen. Tim said "She bends down, gazing at you curiously," to which I responded "I kiss her on the nose, then cast some healing spells to heal what damage was done to her." The following interaction will be in script form, so that it will be easier to write.

DM: All her wounds are healed. What do you do now?

Me: I flirt with her.

DM: Ok, what do you say?

Me: I say…

Jacob: I have often been lonely in life, but I feel like with you, I feel whole. I feel a special connection with you, your majesty. To put it simply, I love you.

DM: Roll for charm to see how effective it is.

Me: 19. That plus my charisma modifier is 29.

DM: Since she's already charmed by you, I won't roll for effectivness. She says back to you

Queen: You are different than the other humans that I have met. You are gentle, compassionate, and you have such a way with words. I feel that I, too, have a special connection with you.

Teddy: Yeah, Jacob! Now go in for the kill, figuratively speaking of course.

Queen: May I confide in you something very private, young human?

Jacob: Yes your highness, you may.

Queen: I have not had children for a long time. I was doing some reading in my library not two weeks ago, and I stumbled upon an old manuscript, detailing the life of a half-dragon, half-human being that roamed this world back when I was only a hatchling. I figured that would be an outstanding way to spread my influence, if only I had a human. You see, us dragons have good intentions, it's just some of my subjects take coexistance a bit too far. I feel that these "Dragonborns" as they were called would be suitable ambassators to the humans to tell them of our well-meaning intentions. The only problem is, again, I have no human.

Jacob: I second that motion your majesty. You also just so happen to have a human right in front of you who is of opposite gender and of prime breeding age.

Queen: You would really do that for me, young human?

Jacob: On one condition: you let my extremely rude allies leave.

Queen: Then it is done. Go heal your allies and tell them to leave, and then ;et us procreate and spread my influence far and wide!

And with that, the campaign ended. When we started a new campaign in that same world just a couple days ago (over discord obviously because of Covid-19,) there was a new race that was playable: Dragonborn. 

Thanks for listening to my true D&D story of how a 14-year-old bard laid the Dragon Queen. I apologize for any misspellings in this story. I had to write it quickly. Again, thanks for taking the time to read this.

-Jared_Mojave


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