TL;DR A GM creates a setting where he is a worshipped god of the dominant religion, makes life hell for players and talking a lot about intercourse.
So, characters of this story:
Amelie, a disguised vampire countess and a neutral evil warlock (yours truly)
Willow, a female rangerroguesomething played by a straight cis-guy (that's relevant)
Theo (an ironic name for reasons you will see later), a rogue, a hero, a martyr, and a bit of an edgelord. A good friend of mine and a steadfast atheist both in-game and out of it.
Tiberius, a fighter from far-off land, a good roleplayer and just a good person in general. My friend, too.
Alex, the DM with a god complex and something else wierd about him. The antagonist.
People who were quick to leave (can't blame 'em doe) aka unmentionables
The story took place a pretty long time ago, like in 2014-16. We were playing in the world completely made up by DM. Low-fantasy style (we didn't even get elves or dwarves as a playable race, so basically everyone was human), but this world had existing gods. A single god, actually.
This god had a lot of shrines and temples on the map, and almost every single NPC we met followed him. "OK", we thought, "Other worlds — including IRL — have dominant religions". But things started to get weirder when we found out the name of the god — it was literally Alex' nickname. "OK", most of us thought, "Not everyone can make a crapton of names for every single town, nation, deity and NPC, so he must have used the first thing to fall in his hands".
But things started to get a looot weirder when he started to say that shrines were built in HIS honour and priests were worshipping HIM. Theo: Excuse me, did you say "My priests"? Alex: Well, yes, they're technically my priests. They worship me, didn't I tell you the god's name? Theo: Ok, I guess…
At some point, party headed to the Tiberius' home. After some time spent there, a lone man approached the warrior, who recognised him or something. The lone man told him to follow and took Tib's word that he isn't going to murder him if he tells him the truth.
The lone man happened to be some kind of a werewolf, but instead of being a wolf he was some kind of beastly abomination (also, a lot stronger than a regular werewolf). The party held for some time, and then the were-beast transformed back into the human form. He spoke something about being rejected by everybody and being the only one of it's kind. Tiberius decided to break his word and kill him, but he roleplayed it properly — a man who was ever honorable, but had to lose his honour so his brothers- and sisters-in-arms, his family and the ones he cared about were relatively safe. Seriously, he even made up some heroic-like speech. Added some depth to the character. Everyone loved it. Except, well, Alex.
— Why did you kill him!? You told him that you won't! You don't do that!
— I do. He was too dangerous to be kept alive.
— But your character wouldn't do that!
Tib shows him his charsheet.
— See? I made this. Not you. You don't know what he would do.
The fight goes on for some time. The session ends and Tib leaves, never to be seen again in those games.
We continued the story. Tension started to rise, shit started to get real.
Some time after Tiberius left, Theo gained my everlasting respect. When DM said something along with "You kneel and pray" Theo interrupted him and said: "Wait. I don't kneel." DM looked at him with an expression of both question and mild anger. "I bow to no throne and to no divinity, and I won't bow to YOU."
Alex was angry. Oh boy was he angry. After a short burst of DM's anger, we continued playing. And guess what? Almost everything now went to ruin Theo's day.
— I want to sneak in this quest-related tower where the mcguffin is right now.
— You can't sneak in. There are guards everywhere, watching every square foot.
— Ok… Then I bribe the guards. Skill check?
— No. They won't accept your bribe because if they do, their superiors will kill them. They attack you.
*some time later*
— DM, why are all enemies attacking me?
— Because you're a wanted theif. They want your head.
— And monsters?
— Because they sense that you're evil, and that the god dislikes you (Why didn't he refer to the god as himself, hmm?)
Theo left quite some time after this, and left before I did. The rogue ended up on gallows, but he lived and died like a true rogue: kneeling to no throne and no divinity.
But poor dming wasn't the worst thing about Alex.
Most of our story from the beginning to the end we spent in the city (which we were in about 80% of the time, the remaining 20% being my castle and Tiberius' home land) there was a LOT of… Well, intercourse.
Firstly, when we were at the tavern, we saw a young handsome merchant and a pretty barely dressed girl (who we later found out to be a werewolf), and then we "heard moans, pounding and walls shake and dishes rattle". Also, he described the intercourse in incredible detail as if we could see it (which we couldnt). So after some time my character, being neutral evil bitch as she is, broke in and killed the couple with a small bomb. Was DM furious? Hell yeah he was. He almost kicked me from the table this time. But in the end, he just said "If you pull off something like that again, I will kick you for good".
Then, after some time, we found ourself in a similar situation. The party along with a couple of unmentionables and NPCs walked along a lonely barn, and guess what? Moans, pounding, shaking walls, rattling tools (guess there weren't dishes in the barn this time). This time somebody (I believe it was Theo) threw a lantern at the barn, setting it aflame. Similar situations happened quite a couple of times, including when we heard the guard captaion having fun with the queen. In detail, too, with her sucking his "iron wand" with a beak. Yeah, she was some kind of a humanoid bird or something. Weird stuff. These two events happened way before Theo and Tib left.
I've had enough when I had to miss a session for various reasons, and when I came to my last session, I found out that Willow, who found a job as a barmaid some time before, was raped by an NPC. Like I said, the guy who roleplayed her was a straight cis-guy and was visibly unhappy. The rest of the session went awkwardly and the next session I just didn't show up.
Never make self-insertions, ESPECIALLY when you're the DM.