How a ridiculous paladin led his teammates to face a dragon army (part 1)

Adrem de Fuá, the most ridiculous paladin in the world, and also the bravery of a long forgotten avatar.


Introducing the world

So, first a bit of the set up: Millenia ago there was an unbelievable powerful avatar called "Hergalda". She fought the wars of the gods, slayed many foes, and was used as a tool by many gods alike. 

When she realized the suffering the war was causing on the world, she chose to end it. After killing the last avatar of the gods, she ended her own life with a ritual that would split her soul in 10 pieces. 5 pieces would follow their natural paths, eventually reencarnating on new creatures. The other 5 would be tied to different objects, so the sould of the avatar Hergalda would never be together again.

And, as such things tend to happen, all 5 players in the party were the carriers of Hergalda's soul pieces. And they happened to find the 5 objects. The two important ones for this story, were the Shield and the Pendant. 

This was a D&D 3.5 game, with some modified rules, and magical item were very, very rare. 

Introducing Adrem de Fuá

Adrem de Fuá knew, since he was a kid, that he wanted to be a paladin. He wanted to fight for justice, for freedom, for everything good! So, when he was condecorated as a Paladin, his very very proud parents gave him a gift: A magical sword. It was an amazing gift! Even if, by rules, it was just a +1 magic bastard sword, it was an amazing item to posess! The only catch was that they inscribed a phrase on the weapon. It said:

"To our beloved son Adrem de Fuá, from your parents who love you very, very, very much. <3 <3 <3 <3"

Yes, the hearts were included. Even better, the actual sword was freaking pink. That gamemaster was a magnificent bastard. As you would imagine, Adrem de Fuá became immediatly famous for being the palading wearing the most ridiculous weapon in the world. Still, it was a great sword, but sometimes it was very infuriating to watch a dying orc laughing as he read the inscription in the pink sword that just killed him.

Also… Adrem had a very unusual ride… not a horse, exactly. We'll go on that later.

The siege

Time into the campaign, the party had realized what they actually were, and that together with the magical items we had found, they were the reincarnation of the avatar Hergalda. We were destined to stop a new war between the gods, and we had no idea of what to do now. We took shelter in a big city, hiding in a small basement while we tried to decide what to do next, or who we could trust.

The answer would come by itself: the alarm bells rang and screams started in the streets. Our elf ranger, Aldurion, climbed to a roof to see what was actually happening… and became pale. 

Dragons. Blue, red, black and green dragons, being the younger ones juveniles, were landing on the walls around the city, killing the guards who even tried to defend themselves. And, riding a huge red dragon, a dark figure stood, and his or her voice was heard in all the city. "Hergalda!", he said, "I know you are hiding in here! Come out and join me, or I will level this city and all its inhabitants to dust! You have half an hour!"

"Dude, we can't go out there!" whispered Aldurion, "He'll kill us!"
"We need to leave" said Rogelio, the human fighter, "maybe we can lure him away from the city."
"We hide! I say we hide! We can't fight that!"
"How about… we comply?" proposed Kolar, the halfling mage.
"What? How do you know he will comply!? He may level the city anyway!!"

While the discussion went on, Adrem de Fuá, who had said no word, look at his shield. It was an ancient small wooden shield, but it radiated with magic and energy. It was one of the recipients of Hergalda's soul.

"You are right", whispered Adrem, "you are right", and then he raised his voice. "We need to fight".
"What? Have you lost your mind?"

Outside, hundreds of citizens panicked and run to the center of the city, trying to get away from the dragons as mice inside a cage. Not so far away, a lightingbolt struck the ground, and histerical screams followed.

"No, I haven't! If this is our destiny, if this is who we are, then we need to make a stand now! If we are to stop another war of the Gods, THIS is were we start! We cannot hide, we cannot run, we cannot hide behind innocents! THIS is were we fight!"

There was a frightful silence in the basement. Outside, a dragon leveled a building, trapping or killing anyone inside it. "Adrem, think twice about it. If we die now, Hergalda will not come back for another generation, and maybe her sould pieces will never get together again!"

"I have already thought about that, Kolar" he said, while he adjusted his armor. "If we cannot make the right call now, then it may be better Hergalda gets another chance in a thousand years".

"You are crazy!" shouted Rogelio, "I will not follow you to the death!"

"Then, I shall go alone".

Speechless, the rest of the party observed how Adrem de Fuá, the most ridiculous paladin ever, walked outside, where his bonded ride was waiting for him. As she knew what he was going to chose, anyway.

This is a good moment to introduce Gladys, Adrem's bonded ride. She was smart, she was fast and strong… and she was a mule. Yep, Adrem used to dream about riding a hippogryph, or a mythical warhorse… but destiny decided to bond him with a mule. He was happy with her, she was a great ride, and the best pal in battle, but still… Well, he got used to hear laughter everywhere he went. 

But, that time, that was not the case. As he climbed on gladys, the mule paced towards the closest city wall. They were the only two creatures who walked against the citizens who were trying to get as far away as possible from the closest dragon. Adrem prayed to his god, he prayed to have the strength and the conviction to face his death with honor and glory. On his left arm, Shield whispered a battle song. 

And they found it.

Like an immense prey bird, the blue dragon watched the city, waiting for the signal to feast on those lesser creatures. But he was surprised to see how a human, wearing a metal armor and riding a… mule?, raised his sword and pointed at him.

"Dragon!!" he yelled, "Come down and face me!"

The blue dragon snorted. Poor lesser creature… He took a deep breath and charged a lightning bolt, aiming to kill that pathetic human in the most humilliating way. Or maybe he would run away…

But Adrem did not move. For  a shield carrying a piece of the soul of an ancient avatar was not a simple shield. The paladin rose the shield and shouted "return it!". The lighting struck the shield, Gladys fought to resist the impact and not fall back and, after a few, very long seconds, the lightning bolt was sent back to its caster. Barely damaged, the blue dragon looked at the palading with anger and rage in its scaly face. "I TOLD YOU TO COME DOWN!!", yelled the human.

For once in his life, someone actually listened to him. The huge dragon took flight, raising huge winds with its wings, and landed with such strength that the ground itself shattered under its claws. For once in Adrem's life, noone laughted when he wielded his pink sword and patted softly on Glady's neck. "Go get'him, girl". 

Gladys charged towards the beast, and the dragon rose to its full might, prepared to squeeze that little bug that had dared to challenge it. 


Your email address will not be published.

Choose A Format
Formatted Text with Embeds and Visuals
The Classic Internet Listicles
Open List
Submit your own item and vote up for the best submission
Ranked List
Upvote or downvote to decide the best list item