How a self absorbed player pushed his adult fantasy’s into a game of d&d


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1 comment, 3 points

First off, I have been a DM for many years for both large and small groups. I’ve dealt with a lot of lustful  bards and edgelord rouges, but none of this prepared me for the cringe that this player brought to the table.

So to start off, I have been running a 5 player campaign for about three years now and up until recently, all the players worked well together. 

Sadly one player had to stop playing due to a family problem. One of my players had a friend that wanted to try playing dnd so we decided to give him a shot. He came in with a fighter class that just left his family’s failing farm in hopes of doing random labourer jobs to send money back home.

He then met up with the party and came along on their mission with the promise of coin. His character’s backstory really resonated with the other players to the point they felt bad and gave him all the coin for the next mission.

Everything went well, other than the fact that he would constantly adjust his backstory, even after constantly telling him that it doesn’t fit with the backstory he originally gave me. At first, he came from a happy, loving family with everyone alive and well, then it turned into his parents were dead, then the whole family was dead, then finally only his sister was left. 

After this rollercoaster ride for his backstory, the group started to doubt his character. 

A few sessions later, he wouldn’t stop forcing the other characters to do what he wanted and that was enough. The tension in the group began to grow, as anytime he was asked to allow other players to talk, he would bring up his depression and say how D&D is the only thing that gets him out of his house anymore. Sadly, these conversations were done away from the table, so I was left thinking they had worked things out, as the fighting stopped seemingly overnight. 

I had a huge tournament that the players were so excited to attend, that I had been promoting for several sessions already, but the new player spoke out that his character had a bad feeling about his family’s farm and asked if they could visit his family just before the tournament. The group quickly agreed, but something didn’t sit right with me so I paused the game and asked the players if this is what they actually wanted to do. I even made the offer of, if the group didn’t want to go, I would make a private session with the new player and we can act out his trip to see his family and I could give him a special quest to earn so loot. 

The group ensured me that they would rather do his thing, so I made a note to see about finding a way to push back the tournament so everyone wouldn’t miss out. The group made their way to a little farming village to see his only living family member and as they were travelling, he told them how not only were his parents now alive, they were very abusive towards himself and his sister. Now they were going there to free his sister and take her away from their parents. 

I reminded him that this is not the backstory he gave me and the room became quite awkward as he ignored me and kept talking about the parents in lengthy detail. I saw one of the players become very nervous listening to this guy getting more and more descriptive. 

I stopped the session right there and I had to put my foot down as he was making the group so uncomfortable that is was painfully obvious no one was enjoying the session any longer. He paused and retracted his new backstory and settled on his parents died, he and his sister were the only ones left, he wanted to show her how much he has grown and to find a better place for her to live. I agreed in hopes we could finish this and move on to the tournament. 

This was a big mistake. He described his sister as being a few years older than him and he would talk about how they would share a bed even though they had two beds, they loved to take baths together and so on. 

I understand that it was common practice to bath children together when they are small, or to reuse bath water in areas where water is more scarce, or heating water is too time-consuming, but he described it as a sick fantasy. The kind that, if I posted it word for word you would have to click an “I am over +18” button just to read this. I didn’t have to read the room to know to stop the session, I simply grabbed my stuff and calmly packed it way. I could see the relief on my players’ faces for stopping this trainwreck of a session. 

The other players left without saying a word. This gave me a good opportunity to hash things out with the new player. He cried about his depression and how I couldn’t kick him out of the group. I didn’t have to kick him out as I was dissolving this campaign. Every time I thought of the next session I would be reminded of this, and it was taking a physical toll on me. 

A few months later, the group contacted me about continuing the campaign and I felt bad for what happened. We have been playing for a long time, so I just asked for a few more weeks to breathe, then we can start the tournament, minus the new player. 

Two weeks passed and I had everything ready for a gruelling fighting tournament. I was excitedly setting up the table, then my stomach sank as I saw the new player’s car drive up and park in front of my house. 

Apparently he had contacted someone else in the group prior to this, apologized about how things went and stated that there was a miscommunication about the relationship his character had with his sister. I was not ready to deal with him in a session again, but I didn’t have to worry about that, as the first thing he said was “Hey, here is an NPC design that I want in your campaign. She is obsessed with my character and she is driven to sleep with me one day. I am talking about she would kill a god just to-“. 

I stopped him right there in front of everyone and demanded that he leave my house. He was not welcome at this table anymore. The ensuing was quickly escalating, but I was not about to throw the first punch, so I told him if he didn’t leave I would call the cops.

He sat there with a smug look on his face at my dining room table, thinking I wouldn’t go through with it. He quickly stormed out once I was staring out my front window reading of his license plate number to the lady on the phone. 

The cops arrived pretty quick, as there was one just driving by and you really couldn’t help but notice the three hundred pound, screaming man child in the middle of throwing a fit on my lawn, kicking over my empty garbage bins. 

I didn’t press charges. He didn’t really do any lasting damage and I didn’t need to give him a reason to say I ruined his life with a police charge or some other such garbage. 

My payback came from watching the police officer walk him around, make him pick up my garbage bin in front of us and my neighbours and put it just outside my garage. We took another break from D&D after that. We didn’t play again until the original player that left brought the group back together for a one-shot with beer and pizza for his birthday. We resumed my campaign shortly after.


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