How newcomers already ruined a DM’s plan

Me and my IRL friends were chilling on playstation when our other friend joins talking about his DnD session so we decide to create our own for fun

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Me and my IRL friends have always wanted to play DnD but we never knew where to start or how to correctly play. Luckily we have a friend who plays DnD every Thursday, one day when he gets on playstation and starts talking about his session we ask him if he would help us learn to play. He was hesitant at first because he has only ever been a player and never DM’d before but he decides to do it since it would give him experence on DMing. Since it’s our first time he lets us half create our own race and half choose from an offical list. I unoriginally pick a petite female Elf, my black friend Andre picks a feminine male shadow dragonborne cuz he wanted a dark skinned race, my Jewish friend Andy picks a Jewish human with long hair, Andys girlfriend Ana chooses a half-elf, and my final friend chose also a shadow dragon (he leaves after the second session so i wont mention his name). Our DM Kasson (K-son) then told us to pick our classes I chose Ranger, Andre chose Assassin, Andy is a Barbarian based on Samson from the bible, Ana is a Cleric, and the other was a Monk. A little bit of details about our characters because we all like to joke around and we wanted to make kassons time as a DM hell we made some hardcore personalities for our characters. My character was constantly horny and got off on killing and seeing people in pain, Andre was an alcoholic but because of his small stature was a lightweight, Andy had to pray to God for his strength as well as drank wine alot cuz he’s Jewish, Ana was afraid of a lot of things, and the Monk instead of using Ki he used Cheese he ate a piece of cheese to use his monk abilities. With the details of our characters finnished now begins our first session. We all are in a pub Andre and the Monk are sitting at a table drinking alcohol Andy and Ana are at the table next to them drinking wine and my character is escorting an old noble to an empty room for some “fun”. Andre sees Andy drink large jugs of wine and decides to challenge him to a drinking contest. Andre drinks an entire pint and slams down the cup in front of Andy and nods his head at him andy then orders a large keg of alcohol and rolls to see if he gets drunk he rolls high and is able to drink it all. Andre orders the same keg and rolls for the same reason at disadvantage since he is a light weight and lands a hefty 5 getting drunk instantly and passing out on the table Andy and Ana were sitting at. Andy throws him onto his oen table with the Monk which wakes him up and now the both of them start fighting while the Monk tried to calm the situation. Going back to me as all this is happening I am doing the do with the old noble and Kasson has me roll for “technique” i get my first Nat 20 of the game and do it so roughly that the noble dies of a heart attack and drops a silver dagger he was hiding I proceed to rob the noble of all his gold his wedding ring and the silver dagger and head downstairs. I come down in time to see Andy and Andre fighting so I sit next to Ana to watch the show and try to talk to her but she ignores me, Andre throws a punch with disadvantage lands a 10 and misses Andy and hits some other yakuza looking noble starting a gang fight in the bar. The Monk tries to get Andy to fight with Andre and of course says no as he tried to fight him, with a bit of barganing and a promise of drinks Andy joins the fight and to protect Ana the cleric I flip the table for cover and join the fight. we roll initiative I go first then andre, the monk, Ana, Andy. I shoot one of the henchmen with my bow and arrow and get a nifty one shot kill, Andre is next because he is still drunk and has disadvantage he barely rolls high enough to land an attack he attacks the main boss man the Monk attacks the second henchman launching him back and into a table. Now its the enemies turn and since Andres back is turned he gets attacked by the remaining henchman taking about 8 points of damage the other henchman took his turn to get up and walk into range of the monk. Ana takes her turn to attack with a mace and misses running back into cover out of fear. Andy then proceeds to punch the henchman that attacked Andre, last was the boss mans turn he attacks Andy but because of Barbarian high AC the attack does nothing as Andy flexes his back muscles and catches the blade between his Scapula. Next round I shoot the henchman next to the monk killing him, Andre slices at the other henchman bringing him low enough for the monk to finnish him off. Ana takes her turn to heal Andre for 5hp as he is low and Andy attacks the boss the boss runs over to Andre and attacks him landing a pretty hard attack brining him down to around 15 HP (he started with 27). This turn I shoot the boss in the shoulder and Andre gets the idea to get thrown by andy for a combo attack. kasson has him roll athletics to be able to climb andy at disadvantage and again barely maked a high enough roll to climb him, The monk eats his cheese and paralyzes the boss using Stunning Strike. Ana heals Andre again for 4hp and Andy rolls to throw Andre, he rolls low and ends up throwing Andre onto the floor taking 7hp from him and ends up bouncing up landing on the boss so it kinda worked as they both fall on the floor the boss man got back up on his turn but couldnt attack as he is paralyzed. I shoot him in the leg, Andre slices his acheles heel, and the Monk punches him in the sternum Ana goes to quickly heal Andre so he doesnt die and Andy delivers the final blow by grabbing him grappling him upside down and does a Street Fighter style Zangief jumping spinning slam breaking the floor and the boss mans head stuck in the floor knocking him out. As we are all laughing and screaming out of joy from what just happened kasson sighs and says As you all are celebrating royal guards rush in and point their weapons at you and look around. We all think we are screwed because Andre is low and we can not take on 7 guards then the guards put down their weapons and apologize saying that the boss man tends to get into a lot of trouble especially when he drinks they hand Andy a sack of 1,000 gold pick up the old fainted man and leave. The pub owner thanks us all and gives us free alcohol and free rooms for life our characters get a room, split the gold, I give Andre the silver dagger, and we end the session. We all start laughing and are hype cuz we had fun kasson screams at us and starts laughing turns out the old man I was escorting was supposed to rob me afterwards and try to kidnap me and the session was supposed to be them trying to save me but I ended up giving him a heart attack, and we weren’t supposed to not only kill the henchmen but not even be able to knock the boss man out. Also he said the reason we weren’t killed or taken prisoner by the royal guards is because they were afraid of the fact we brutally killed the henchmen and beat the boss man so badly so they gave us the gold as a way to bribe us into not hurting them.

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