How the bard saves the party from a TPK.

Fair warning: this story has adult themes.


This one campaign I was in took place in a prison dungeon that I and my party took there at the beginning of the session. We started at LVL 4 so that we can have are class archetypes, and lets us have one common item and extra 50 gold with our starting gear so that we would stand a chance, our party was just 4 players

A human wizard who was evil and wanted power.
A tabaxi rogue who loves being sneak a lot and steal anything shiny.
A human fighter who was acting as a tank to the group.
I was a tiefling bard/warlock who just wanted to perform and give support.

The prison was like a maze and guarded by animated armor that would attack you if you go anywhere near a restricted area, and the areas that won't light was also restricted, so after a 2 session of doing nothing but RPing with the NPC's/ other prisoners, we all have chosen to go out and do something because we all weren't getting anywhere in the campaign on how to break out of this boring prison, we did kill some animated armors along the way, but the bad news is that they keep coming back up, due to the dm adding a special effect that these armors can not be destroyed. We then came across this room and there it was an ancient bronze dragon! The whole party was like holy shit! And in my mind, I was ready to GTFO!

The whole party saw that it was sitting on a massive dragon hoard, and lucky the dragon was asleep. The thief and wizard lets steal it. So I was against it at first, but it had a lot of gems that might be useful to the two dwarven sisters I've talked too. So I, the rogue, and the wizard went and stealth to go into the loot our fighter had to stay back due to him being and heavy armor, and he can't stealth without failing his roll. We all managed to roll good enough to pass against the dragon's passive perception which was amazing. So we all took what we need some gold, gems, and about one or two magic items, but as soon when we were going to leave our wizard rolled a nat 1 and the dragon woke. And the dm made us rolled initiative.

Lucky the dragon rolled last, and before the battle took place, the was like return the things we have stolen from him, and I was ready to give back the gems, but the party was like hell no! and ran like hell to lucky we all made it outside of the room, and we all went back to our cells. Then the DM ended the session.

Next session our group had chosen to go back to the ancient bronze dragon, I was against it because we all could have died, plus we won't nearly a high level to fight it! OOC: I doubt four LVL 4 players could stop an ancient bronze dragon, but the group went anyway. So we back to the chambers, and the ancient bronze dragon wasn't there so we all went to its hoard and started to take gold, gems, anything of value as well as find more magic items. Then the fighter saw a shield and it looked magical and grabbed it (this is where the real part of the story takes place)

The shield was trapped and the whole room was alerted and there were force walls everywhere so that we couldn't run or get out of the room, and the dragon had come out in the form an archwizard uses Lightning Bolt at us and we all managed to save the dc, but we were all near-death, and the DM made us rolled initiative. Lucky I was first so I used my words and persuade the dragon to talk to me. The dragon agreed then shifted back into its dragon form. So I gave back the 3 gems I stolen today, but keep 2 I stolen from the last session, but everyone didn't give back the items, so the dragon was ready to kill, but I offered another thing I had on me to spare the party, and that was my body.

I had to roll a straight CHA, I rolled an 18, and the ancient bronze dragon rolled a nat 1 on its insight. The whole party laughed out of occ as my character was about to have sex with this ancient bronze dragon. So the ancient bronze dragon dropped the force wall and everyone left the room, leaving me and the ancient bronze dragon. So, the dragon polymorphs into this thicccc human red hair woman and the bard and dragon started making love like rabbits on top of its hoard. After the wild sex, the dragon was good with the terms, but as I never come back, however as my character was about to leave I the call me jester to the ancient bronze dragon, then left the room, and everyone in the party couldn't stop grinning at me.

After the session, everyone was like wow, the DM gave me game advisement for saving the party, by laying with the dragon, and this will be remembered in my of playing D&D.


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