How the cowardly ranger saved the party

Now this story may not be as deep or as serious as many D&D stories go but this was my best D&D moment ever.


I just joined up with a D&D group on a social media site and all of us there except maybe the dm were fairly new players so for our first ever mission he gaves us a quest from a dragonborne scientist to kidnap the mayors son from his mansion because he beleives the son may be a demon in disguise. Everything seemed to be going fine at first but then me being the stupid player I am had my level 2 Wolfkin ranger roundhouse kick a gaurd in the face to try to knock him out ofcourse this failed and alerted all the gaurds in the area to our position causing us to have to split up. I ended up having to hide with our parties Druid who thankfully had an ability to cast illusion spells so he casted a spell on us to make us, and get this, to make us look like a fence post. Meanwhile our halfling bard is on the other side of the mansion and gets caught by the gaurds but he uses diception on them and because of his appearance he had them think he was the mayors son. It worked and they took him inside but the gaurds were still patrolling around and they were all over me and the druid so I came up with the brilliant idea of summoning a familiar but when I tried to I ended up alerting the gaurds of our position. The gaurds still couldn’t see through the druids illusion though but we both knew it wouldnt last long so I looked over to the dm and told him my plan and he gave me a sigh and firmly planted his palm on his face. My plan was to run away screaming insults at the gaurds to draw them away from the mansion. The dm told me that would cause for a lot of roles, but to be totally honest I was just tok scared to have to deal with a head on fight with the gaurds. So I looked over to the druid and uttered what we all thought were gonna be my last words and said “Witness me” then I proceeded to leap from our hiding spot and yell “I live I die and I live again” then I ran away from the gaurds screaming the only insult I could think of and that was screaming “Your mom is gay” at the top of my lungs. To my utter suprise it actually worked and all the gaurds started chasing meincluding the ones inside the mansion as well. Thankfully I put most of my stats into dexterity and strength because the dm had me roll a dexteriy roll to out run the gaurds I made a passing role of 16 plus my moddifier of 3 to get 19 then I had to do an athletics check to climb onto a roof passed it with a 12 plus my moddifier of 4 to get 16 and then I had to preform a strength check to keep from collapsing from exaustion passed it with a 18 plus my moddifier of 2 which gave me a 20  then finally he made me do a stealth check and I was in shock when I rolled a natural 20 on it so not only did I manage to lure the gaurds away I completely escaped them unscathed. Flash back to our hafling bard who is currently still in the mansion getting his entire childhood back When finally after receiving all the love and attention he could afford he tells the mayor and his wife (whom still think he is they’re son) that he needs to go to the bathroom where he grabs the real kid and escapes the mansion. When we finally all group back up we go back to the tavern where we first met the dragon borne scientist. but when we get there itis revealed that the kid we kidnapped which the dragonborne first told us was a demon but it turns out the mayor never had a son at all that in fact the kid we grabbed WAS the real mayor and that he had a curse on him but the real reason the dragon borne wanted him was to kill him and he takes the kid from us and teleports away leaving us as the villians this whole time.


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