-I don’t even know where to begin. This happened tonight, just a few hours ago (around 11 pm on the 21st of September 2019), and it was so epic we decided to end the session there. This is the first session of the new school year, we have been playing since February of last year.
—So the session starts with my Paladin, Daniel McCealgach, finishing burying what he can of the bodies of fallen warriors of a battle that the party had had with the BBEG’s, Duke Asymber (a DC 40 Wizard), army. Each member had led a section and Daniel led fellow followers of his patron saint, Telantes: the Good Saint of Fire A.K.A. The Cleansing Firebrand, and we eventually won the battle but my Paladin lost almost all of his troops besides a war cleric that did not approve of the party’s Teifling wizard’s recruitment of fiends for her section. The battle occurred because we, well most of us, were trying to rescue a party member that had been captured by Asymber, Wilnaes the Cleric/Druid who likes goodberries very much. Daniel felt like it was his fault for Wilnaes being captured in the first place, so add that guilt onto the guilt of leading a bunch of his fellow followers of Telantes as well as the old wound of his mother having died when he was out learning to Paladin during his backstory when he could have saved her and he was in a pretty deep emotional hole.
—It is about this time that the rest of the party are able to make it out of the dungeon under the battle field that was secretly holding Wilnaes. Wilnaes was the other person Daniel had talked to most out of the party and was one of the ones Daniel was closer to. As Daniel sees Wilnaes coming out of the dungeon he runs over and bear hugs him, apologizing for not finding him sooner and for letting him be captured. These apologies eventually turn into mutterings of “I’m so sorry.” and “I tried.”. Wilnaes assures Daniel it is ok, that his being captured allowed the rest of the party to get to safety, he gives Daniel a goodberry and the party moves to the pavilion Asymber had been seemingly been in during the battle but had turned out to be an illusion. We looked around and found a datebook, in that datebook we found a note saying how one of his contacts in the city we had just come from were going to summon a great evil. We went back through the teleportation circle, into the restricted section of the library where we were caught by the owner of the library. Daniel persuaded the party’s way out of that one. Wilnaes left to find his way home, as he was understandably tired.
—So that you know the rest of the party: Dura the Teifling Wizard with Int 20 and Wis 2 (doesn’t get along with Daniel much.), Gaston the Barbarian/Fighter who is married to the Wizard Belle and had saved her from an evil beast (He secretly is a lycanthrope but doesn’t know so Belle hides the info from him that he actually was the beast), O the warlock pretending to be a Cleric (he gets lost easily. His player left his sheet at home, so he had to make a new one.), Cedric the Paladin who isn’t under a saint and Oath of Conquest (O’s player made him until he can get O’s sheets back during Thanksgiving.), Salazar the Ranger who dislikes those who defy the ‘natural order’ (he got turned into a woman by a cursed skull), The Fuzz the goblin rouge who loves fashion and such (She’s campaigning to allow an NPC we met to be ascended as the saint of fashion.), Su the Bard (her player changed schools so we played with her through video chat, Evar the Cleric who had taken up the worship of 11 out of 12 saints (Wilnaes’ player made him to play when Wilnaes got captured.), and since you haven’t heard a good description of him yet: Daniel the Oath of Redemption Paladin who is an Aasimar trying to find which of the 7 angels of the Creator god is his ancestor (He is in love with a succubus who actually caught feelings too a while back but they cannot marry or otherwise due to their respective bosses). I believe I already described Wilnaes in a previous paragraph.
—I hope I can explain the religion system in a bit briefer fashion. There is one Creator God who is all alignments, they created the world and good things but also like to help and do evil “because they like fucking with shit”. They have by their sides 7 good arch-angels who are an extension of their good side (Wrath, Judgment, Charity, etc.) and 7 evil arch-demons who likewise represent each a part of their evil side. They sometimes ascend mortals who amuse them or do great deeds into Sainthood, basically this world’s version of a minor god. There are 12 Saints total. 4 saints for each of the main alignment types: good, neutral, and evil. Each of the four saints in any category have an element that they correspond to; fire, earth, water, or air, as well as their own things they hold in high regard and importance due to their personalities and lives as mortals.
—So from here we skip to the next morning where we all decide to go look for the place where the great evil would have been summoned, the datebook hints somewhere north of town. We eventually find a place where the earth has begun to fissure and shake, the water nearby tastes of sulfur, we can only assume it is the lair of a red dragon. We venture in and as soon as we are down there, one of the party goes for the north door which begins to scream: 3 demons burst in from the west door, 6 yuanti’s from the east, and they attack us. The battle goes on and suddenly we are enveloped by a thick gas, we cannot see a thing. When the smoke clears both Su and Evar have been taken. We search for them. Dura wanders off as usual, using her Wis of 2 to not be wise enough to have fear while talking to demons that would kill her while talking to them and convincing them to go somewhere else (it works somehow.). We find the dragon, a young adult red dragon. Gaston turns to Daniel, “Heal me, I have a plan.” Daniel uses as much lay-on hands as he has left on Gaston who goes in and uses what he calls his “wombo combo” to get 5 attacks, all at advantage that crit on both 19 and 20. What’s more is that our DM is nice and likes to give out magic items, she mistakenly let Gaston have a belt of fire giant strength (we are all level 10 btw) as well as a sword called “Dragon Slayer”. He killed it in one turn. The DM wasn’t mad, just a bit salty and a bit cranky that he killed it as efficiently as he had. We venture on, find an armory where Dura uses a 9th level spell scroll of ‘wish’ that she found when she was wandering off alone to give sentience to a mimic cabinet that had attacked us. The DM said “And that is why I only give things like that to Dura.” They named themselves ‘Ditto’ and were teleported to Dura’s orc parents’ house. We continue to a point where we find two doors: a stone one and a portcullis. Through the portcullis we see what appears to be a chained up Evar. Ghaston Nat 20s the gate open and both I (Daniel) and him rush inside, when we are inside he begins laughing.
“You fools! You fell for it, I mean a cleric who worships 11 saints? how can you be so stupid?” he paralyses both Me and Gaston, and damages us to near death the only ones who aren’t paralyzed are Salazar and Cedric who stayed near the portcullis. We are taunted by both Su and Evar, who pulls off his mask that gave him the appearance of a high-elf, revealing himself to be a Drow. The Amulet of Pure Evil we thought we had had Evar destroy in a previous session was there hanging around his neck just fine. A simulacrum of Gaston comes up the stairs to the portcullis and grapples Salazar, removing her/him from the fight. Su uses feeble mind on Cedric who fails and is made no longer a threat, he isn’t dead biologically, just mentally. Evar uses a spell called ‘Finger of Death’ on Dura who fails the save and falls to the ground, having to make death saving throws. Both me and Gaston are paralyzed, Evar damages us some more (I got down to 6 health out of 46 ish that I had when coming in, my max was 102). I had used all of my 3rd level slots, Radiant Soul, and Channel Divinity earlier in the dungeon. It is either at this point or shortly before where I try the last thing I can do: I pray. I pray to Telantes, the lawful good saint of fire who’s main things are smite evil and follow good laws. My patron saint: The Cleansing Firebrand. I roll for religion. Say it with me yall:
The DM looks up as she puts a d10 down behind her screen: “Help is coming on a 10 turn counter.”
Su walks around, tying us up one by one and taking our weapons and magic items. Everyone except for Gaston, who Evar is taunting and torturing. Evar tries the spell disintegrate, Gaston resists it. Evar presses the Amulet of Pure Evil to the chaotic good warrior’s chest, branding him, Gaston looks him straight in the eye, unwavering. Since Gaston took damage, he rages and breaks out of the paralyzation spell, popping a potion of superior healing and letting loose the entire ‘wombo combo’ on Evar. Evar is knocked down to three health as Gaston just goes to town. Evar gets up. Su moves to try and attack Gaston. All the while the counter has been counting down.
The DM speaks: “You see, Daniel rolled a Nat 20 on a religion roll to ask Telantes for help. She, as we all know, is slightly dramatic and loves it when her paladins ask for help. You hear the faint sound of the shimmer of celestial light as one of the Creator God’s angels appears: Zigtia the Angel of Wrath, Savior of the Betrayed, and wielder of the Creator God’s own sword.”
Zigtia lets out a blast of blinding radiant light and fire. She walks over to where the Amulet of Pure Evil lays on the ground and stomps on it, smashing it to pieces. She turns to Su and hits her with the Sword of the Creator God, Su is almost dead and teleports out of there, to her secret room full of plants where she takes as many of the healing ones as she can before teleporting off of the continent. Zigtia walks over to Dura, and placing a hand on her chest, heals her up to full health and all spell slots. She walks over to the rest of us and heals us as well, the chains were described as “simply melting away.” As she walks down the line of our party members, she stops in front of Daniel. Zigtia smiles, raises the Sword of the Creator God and lowers it, placing it first on his right shoulder, then his left, and finally touching it to his sword before disappearing in a flash of light.
That is how I saved my party from certain death.
It had been a joke among us, and still is, that Daniel was not that good of a Paladin. Also a joke that existed was one that he prayed to Telantes too much to the point of bothering her. As we packed up we joked about “Wow, the first time Daniel’s praying to Telantes came in clutch.” or “This is the day Daniel became a good Paladin.” It was pretty epic no matter how you choose to look at it. I was ecstatic as I thought we all were going to die, but Daniel saved everyone in the most epic way possible.
After that we all leveled up. I got improved divine smite. I also got something else.
When Zigtia had touched the Sword of Sharpness with the Creator God’s sword, it changed it. The sword turned into:
The Celestial Sword of Disruption: a +3 magic longsword, fiends and undead take +2d6 radiant damage. If this damage lowers the target to less that 25 hp, they must succeed on a DC 15 saving throw or be destroyed. A success causes them to be frightened of me until their next turn. When I hold it, the sword emits bright light to 20ft. and dim light for another 20ft. . At Paladin Level 17, it becomes Holy Avenger.
This is my first character and my first campaign besides a unsuccessful trial run. I love this game.