Tale of tents and Bugbears

How we might have started a holy war between bugbears.... and tents...

24 points

In a campaign I am still playing in, we were sent on a diplomatic mission to another country, it’s not too important what we were doing, but when a new player joined, a bugbear fighter I think, he rubbed my character the wrong way a little.

I woke up late but got into the voice chat with the party and started up talking with a new guy, the bugbear.

I, a lizard folk sorcerer, was used to intimidate a bandit for information, eating his dead comrades and threatening to eat him as well. The bugbear, not the brightest bulb called me an overgrown Kobold, so not too happy with him, after the interrogation and searching of the bandit’s camp, also after I told him not to smash open chests and him ignoring me only to destroy EXTREMELY valuable magical items… I walked past the bugbear named Treacle and told him that “the tent over there said bad things about your mother”

… and so it began…

He announced he would attack the tent. And so he did. Attacking the tent and trying to wrestle it into submission. The DM laughed and told him to roll a D100 to see who was going to win, the tent or the bugbear…. One guess as to who won…

It didn’t take long before the bugbear was calling out for help, fully and successfully grappled by the tent. My lizardfolk came by and gently folded the tent up deciding to take it with me as this was clearly going to be rather fun.

And so began a long journey back to our home country where we constantly set up the tent in Treacle’s room while he was out or sleeping to show it was stalking him, hiding his weapons inside the tent to imply it was trying to disarm him, and often even when everyone else was in the room using prestidigitation to spell out taunts and vows of domination and vengeance on the fabric of the tent against not just Treacle but all bugbears everywhere.

This continued with some pretty excessive and humorous secretive rolls, all the while, I’m not entirely sure that Treacle’s player even knew what was going on as I had high sneak, and almost everyone else in the party was in on it. Two or three times he went to fight the tent and lost, every time we entered we talked to him saying he was imagining it and to stop messing with the tents. 

It wasn’t until much later that he managed to get a hold of the tent, burn it and throw it off the ship we were on that he figured the tent would stop messing with him. But we saw this, trying to confront him and telling him to stop “destroying our resources” But as he was explaining that it must have been a tent mimic or possessed and my lizardfolk walked away shaking his head, before rushing to his room and writing a declaration of war against him for his “war crimes against tent kind” to leave on his pillow.

We know he found the note and occasionally we would undo the packing of the tents as if they were wandering about before someone entered and they stood still, implying that they were plotting and all working hard to orginize a resistance. We kept putting extremely easy to decode messages “from the tent empire” to a mysterious double agent assigned to keep a very close eye on Treacle. Leaving said notes hastily tucked away in various places we knew he would find.

On one fateful night Treacle went to the supplies and lined up all the tents to try and roll intimidation on them to leave him alone, he returned to a set up tent in his room, a dagger plunged into his pillow with a note reading “Your fight is with us, this is a warning. Leave the civilians alone.”

And we finally reached our destination, the DM asked us if we wanted to fess up or stop… we have decided we are going to keep going at least until he starts recruiting for a crusade against the Tent empire.

… Am I evil?….


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