Tales From The TableTop (Episode #2)

Catch up with everything posted on All Things DnD yesterday.


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  1. 1 By: Cristian Mendoza

    Oy! Do I have a stooooory to tell you folks! The name is Shodwig Teagrounds, bard and story teller extraordinaire, master of disguise and reader of the leaves. Pull up a chair, tip your waitress, and settle back as I tell you the story about... The Betryal in the Jungle of Elves

    So, me, myself, and I, somehow ended up becoming arrested and furthermore enslaved. (I sang a song about a statesman's wife and he got me locked up, and then the badgerpile went ahead and switched me into the slave line all sneaky like! Right before I was ready to be released! The tosser...)

    Anyway, I ended up escaping with a few good friends I made in the lot, a Human Druid, a Half-Elf Ranger, and another Gnome like I, except he was a Cleric. We'd been freed by a mystical elven farmer, and subsequently stayed at his farm for three years before going out on our own... Not on our own terms, and with his death, all to be seen a single scrap of dark cloth. But that's another story.

    We had gone to the nearest, largest city and began to ask about and follow leads. The librarian was more than helpful, yet asked us a favor in return. Simple enough! We'd set out to rescue his daughter about a day's journey north in the mountains, she'd been abducted by goblins and bugbears, the poor lass.

    Anyway, after some clever strategizing by yours truly, we'd managed to take hold of the girl, and met a man.. Who seemed to be killing the same goblins. His name was Ellion, a greyguard. An ex paladin who had lost his faith, or rather was in the process of losing it. He allowed us to go back to Shireville with him, and told us that these goblins had been working underneath the "Azul", a group who had wanted the king dead. A quick cross-examination with him? My cloth was a piece of the Azul's cloak. Whoa. Nif-tea. Hehe.

    Anyway, after a few days, we ended up following Ellion, who'd told us we had business in the Fey-Jungle, a large expansive tropic forest, with large elven trees (think redwood forest). Over tea in the morning, we talked of our mission, then headed off... God it was lovely tea...

    Deep in this mystical jungle, we found ourselves in conversation with Ellion. "What purpose do you all have? Why do you continue? What do you fight for?" I simply replied that my wanderlust and curious was the most important thing, and that I'd wanted to make my own story rather than reading and retelling. My friends shared their ideas. "Well... I work for the king. And I want you all to join me."

    Now... We had actually almost been assassinated by a group of halfling rogues in our sleep, wearing the kings guard outfits. I brought this up, and said to Ellion, "Listen, you have proven to us that you're worthy of following, you've helped us, you've kept us safe, this racist, tyrannical king has tried to kill us. Until I can get a face to face explanation from him or a higher statesman, I will not pledge allegiance to anyone but your side, Ellion. I've come to think of you as a friend! So for now, I am in your stead, but not the king's. Not until I'm given the apology I deserve."

    "...I'm sorry..." Is all I heard before I saw his glaive spin around his head, whacking my human and half elven friend. Immediately, my telescopic wind instrument, a stretchable piccolo-to-flute-to-clarinet device I'd stumbled upon, my pride and joy, drew into my hands, and I began to charm the dwarven guards ahead of our cart, taking them out of the fray while they were forced to wonder why dwarves had outies and elves had innies.

    I turn around, and cry out to Ellion with my +12 diplomacy, "Stop this! Stop this now! Ellion, you do not have to do this! We were your friends! We followed you into the swamps and helped you kill a lich! We trusted you... Please, this doesn't have to end in bloodshed, and if you can't allow us to continue travelling with you then we can all just leave! Please listen to me! We can all just stop!" I yelled, actually tearing up IRL. *Roll* ... 7, not too bad with a +12.

    "I will not lie... I have come to find you all.. Useful. I would say I've even come to call you friends... Which is why I am so sorry... All I can give you is this..." And then Ellion looked down for a good six seconds, before looking me right in the eye and saying.. "Thank you for drinking my tea. Sunflower."

    Magic pulsed through all of our veins as we began to quickly knock out, unbeknownst to us the magical poison in our morning tea had affected us this well.. We'd all succeeded in staving off it's affects just long enough to see him ride away with my freshly bought mule, and my telescopic flute still playing music for the dwarves. I watched the few things I trusted, and grew to enjoy in this vast, ever changing world... go away.

    I woke up, and all of my friends and I recognized we were not in the same spot of the fey jungle we passed out on... We weren't even on a road. We are currently lost... A bard can lose some coin, a shoe, even a lady... But when a bard loses a friend, and his instrument...

    That is the Betrayal in the Forest of Elves. My friends, take heed; whenever a friend invites you to tea, take only a sip. Lest you see darkness and the fading image of trust and companionship ride away.

    Will we continue? Will we find Ellion again? Can I forgive him...? Buy me a drink, and I'll tell ya!

  2. 2 By: Thomas Boone

    So me and two of my buddies are playing a 3 person game and we were pretty low level maybe 2 or 3. I was a Catfolk spellthief and my buddy was a elf wizard. Well we were on a typical go find these bandits mission and we're doing pretty good so far. We've tracked them down and I'm in the bushes taking them out one by one with my bow while the wizard moves in on them raining what ever spells he could muster onto the group. Well it got to the point where just the leader was left and he was pretty bloody from my arrows and the wizards spells. But...... the bandit leader got a pretty good roll in and knocked the wizard unconscious. This was a big problem since I was the only other character and the bandit now had a knife to the wizards throat. So he demanded I drop my weapons and come out of the bushes. I complied and with my smooth talking high charisma I was able to convince him that we can go our separate ways, just let the wizard go and we leave. He was cool with it and I went over and started dragging my wizard friend away (well being a spellthief and the wizard being unconscious I decided to try my luck.) I stole the spell magic missile from the wizard and as the bandit turned away to leave I yelled "not so fast! You die today!" (Yeah I couldn't come up with a cool line to say lol) and fired the missile at home finishing him off.
    This was one of the coolest and most intense moments of this campaign for me and I'll never forget the feeling of taking that bandit leader out this way!

  3. 3 By: Mark Vertlib


    Several years ago I ran Hoard of the Dragon Queen over teamspeak with some wonderful internet friends. It was all of our first times doing anything D&D and we had an amazing time. Well one session all but 2 players bailed, so I decided “screw it, let’s run a one-shot.” I named it Drow With the Spiral Tattoo, and it ended up going on over a few sessions. The party consisted of a Drow Cleric of Auril (the evil goddess of ice and death), and a pacifist gnome bard, the characters that the players were playing in the main campaign.

    The drow was a defector of Lolth who had come to the surface world and changed her loyalty to Auril. At the start of this campaign she was magically inked with a spiral tattoo up her arm that burned when she faced in a specific direction, like a compass (which spawned the attached picture). Cutting forward a session, the characters had gone through a portal, and after a run-in with some goblins had placed them in a mysterious prison in an ancient cavern.

    Some time into their imprisonment the man in charge of the whole thing entered the room with a beautiful woman on his arm. He was charismatic (think Gilderoy Lockhart) and charming, promising to explain what was happening (eventually) and talking to them more as guests in a fancy room as opposed to dirty travelers in a prison cell.

    He introduced the woman on his arm as Arau, and as she looked directly at the Drow player, and I had her roll a religion check with advantage. She rolled really well. She remembered Lolth’s original name: Araushnee. As this information set in the smiling woman’s eyes broke into a spider’s eyes and she spoke into her head: “Hello, my child.”

    I played up the tension so strongly that the player’s skin was crawling, and she needed to take a 10 minute T.O. to calm down. This remains to this day one of my favourite D&D moments, and I will never forget what a roleplaying game over teamspeak can do to someone.

  4. 4 By: Mike Nest

    My older brother would meticulously plan out his campaigns to every little detail start to finish before we could start playing and would write notes in journal after journal, taking years to complete a campaign.

    This is where I would come in and screw his plans up completely and derail the game.

    One game I played as a halfling and the other party members would often harrass me, throw me at the enemy or just make me carry their equipment, one such item was a staff with an AOE of causing sleep.

    We came up to a river where the assassin lord (basically shadow from FFVI) who would be the main villain for the series, and the group was trapped.

    When asked about the river, the DM (my brother) commented it had merfolk who would eat flesh and the waters were poisoned.

    I used the staff and put EVERYONE to sleep, everyone failed their rolls, I pushed the assassin lord into the river and then one by one all of my party members into the river and have never been invited back to one of my brothers games since.

  5. 5 By: Evan Shutley

    D&D 5e Campaign in homebrew world of Watheron

    I play a Dragonborn-Goliath Eldritch Knight that goes by “Beast” and I am a heavily armored walking fortress (heavy armor, tower shield and all) and ride a horse while using a lance. Our party at the time of us doing a mashup of our two separate parties from two separate campaigns that the same group does with different DMs, and it was our Christmas campaign arc. We are comprised of me (level 6), a level 4 Goliath gunslinger, level 4 Half-Elf Warlock, level 6 tiefling rouge, and level 6 Half-Elf Blood Hunter.
    Near the end of this arc we had found the magical mask that was controlling Santa and making him act out of his normal self and removed it from him, in which it attached itself to our Blood Hunter, causing him to fall to the ground and his body summon a 30 foot tall avatar of the evil god of the campaign. A long fight ensues and we have to end up also facing a possessed Blood Hunter friend and a couple of snowmen. Near the end of the battle I charge at the Avatar and roll my attack and extra attack, and the DM just goes “How do you want to kill him?”
    So with a mighty loud roar I launch off my horse into the sky with my lance, using my dragon wings to give me some extra lift and I plunge the lance into the avatar’s eye and it explodes into a bunch of goop, and I land safely on the ground. At which point we reconcile the campaign, get nonmagical versions of the mask (i grab two and turn them into knee pads on my armor) and we are returned to our correct campaigns.

Some visuals to cheer you up!

Girls

:’(

Amazing DnD idea

Great News: Wizards of the Coast has at least 10 DnD video games under development

Shit my players say

Link to the previous episode: Tales From The TableTop (Episode #1)


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