Some stories and memes to make your day…
Dungeons and Dragons: Dark Souls Edition
When a party member decides to do something instead of sticking with the party
1 By: Ian Ba’elyan
Me and my group are a part of a vampire slaying cult that lives and works in a land overrun by undead. I was a dragonborn fighter with a drow paladin, a human paladin, a birdman ranger, and an insane old human mage. All initiates to the order must go through a test to prove their ability to survive in this harsh land and since the Darkness had not yet come we were instead tasked to survive 30 minutes inside a house with a very high level vampire somewhere within and other baddies.
Fast forward about 10 minutes into our expedition. We get to a room of the house and scare some mercenaries out of the room. We argue and loot the empty room and the DM decides we're taking too long so he has a miniboss werewolf-vampire monster kill the fleeing mercs and attack us. A little later the drow paladin is cornered with a duel spell cast on the werewolf-vampire and things are not looking good for her so I sneak up behind the werewolf-vampire and throw a concussion bomb that stuns and prones the Werepire and takes out a wall, BUT at the same time the other paladin shot it with a pistol while wearing a ring of giant slaying and since it was stunned it autofails the strength check and gets concussed a second time, BUT the drow paladin also hit it with a sword that had thunderous strike on it and it gets concussed a THIRD time.
Well the DM decides enough is enough and the Werepire goes flying out the destroyed wall heavily concussed, smashes through a fountain, and lands (on fire thanks to the pyro mage) 120 feet off in the distance and burns to death while out cold from several heavy concussions, our allies who were surrounding the house were watching this in disbelief.
Later on my party finds a secret lab with future tech and the pyro mage ends up getting a Galaxy Note Tab 7 and causes a semi-nuclear explosion that kills the high level vampire upstairs and the level 15 killbots we unleashed (we were level 3.)
TL;DR – In 30 minutes we managed to send a giant flaming Werepire flying about a third of a football field into the distance and caused a nuclear explosion. This is pretty much every session.
2 By: Sascha Friedrich
So I'm a new DM and I wanted to try out one of the Storys of Wizard of the Coast. I got two friends who wanted to play with me and they are at "Harried at Hillsfar". But they both die. And I was in a real pickle there because I didn't wanted them to make new characters so I had to improvise.
My improvisation: The Bard woke up and everywhere is smoke. He walks towards some huge stairs and on top is a figue on a throne with a scythe. So it's literally death. And I came up with a "give me a soul for your soul" plot but the bard of course refuses. He wants to be the Deaths Champion. So I let him fight against a ridiculous amount of Skeletons and Zombies (10 Sk. & 5 Zombies for a lvl2) but he dies. He says to the Lord of death that he needs preperation time and he can beat everything - so I give him prep time and on top he can wish for every item he wants. In the mean time I play the campaign with the still living Barbarian and it's a mess - a funny one but still a mess. The barbarian barely survives the goat attack and the player (female) is devastated the bard died and she straight goes to the next adventure like yeah there sure will be no encounter" -.-
So second round for the bard and he still freaking dies from all the arrows. I'm like well that didn't go as planned. He has prep time again because he attacked the lord of the death which earned him a little bit respect and while he preps the barbarian dies. So the barbarian drops to the lord of death to. It's insane they actually try to convince them it's great there and friendship is cool and everything - so me a "smartass" thought, hey let them fight against each other and the winner gets resurrected. They immediatly attacked the Reaper... no hesitation and lost. So I'm in a real pickle now but hey the Bard tries some Persuation and tries to make deals and throws a 23. He wants to get both free but I'm not making that easy. I want souls man - so he came up with "but people get resurrected all the time" and my reaper is like "I HATE that!" They ask why I don't do something about that and I'm like "You know here I am the King but there I am more like the janitor who cleans up after the mess."
So at the end I gave them a list of bad people who died but got resurrected to much and from a witch who spies into the realm to help resurect dead people. So in a weird way I get souls, they get resurrected and I got to play a reaper which was fun. But in another really really weird way they should just help farmers out by beating some goats and some wild dogs. I had to improvise that whole bit which was fun, but on the other not really what I had in mind with trying out a prewritten campaign
3 By: Ryan Kenny
My party and I took goblins hostage for attacking us. His name was Frank, we had him bound and gagged. We entered the cave and expected the worst so we kept our weapons up with plans to exterminate any creature we saw.
As we entered one of the larger rooms in the cavern we noticed two goblins ahead so I threw my hand axe at one while our tiefling monk threw a dart at the other.
I scored a critical hit and the DM described how angels sang as my axe flew through the air and collided with this goblins head and described the most gruesome scene possible as the dart quietly dispatched the other.
We then turned around to whimpering and noticed a broken Goblin. We removed his gag and he told us through his tears that I had just eviscerated his brother.
A month after making him our ally by destroying his overlord he still shuns me.
4 By: Ron Watson
Its not dnd but me and my buddies have a handmade d6 system running future tec.
Back story: you have me the bounty hunter. Cpt jim pilot and geniral meat shield. Leo the tank Killdozer assassin droid
Leo and dozer are in the office of a wealthy person whom we are investigating. I sneak down to the parking garage with jim as we have obtained the gentlemen's keys and were going to go through his car. We split up and search for it. I find it right away. He rolls ones. And is now Walking around aimlessly lost in thought.
Im going through the car and one of the body guards catches me. Now im a human and this guy is a bulked out Argonian typ person. We start to fight inside the car and i cant beat his grapples. So i think fast take my free leg n start kicking the horn
DM: jim roll perception
Jim: 3 1s
Dm: all of a sudden that song u were thinking about last week popped in your head. Your walking through the garage singing walking on sunshine
Next round still kicking the horn
Jim : 3 1s perception
Dm: "im walkin on sunshine WOOO WOO WOOO . . . man the horn is realy throwing off my groove.
This literally goes on two more rounds. Im now beaten to a bloody pulp being drug out of the car n a heap
Jim :rolls perception 11
He finally notices my body being drug through the lot
Roll to hit 20 on 3 d6+2
Roll dam. 24 on 4d6
Blows dudes head clean off.
5 By: Jack Smallpage
Without going into too much detail..
we were running a Pathfinder game based in Cheliax. During some downtime, our fighter and vigilante wanted to go shopping in Vyre. They pestered the Wizard who waved his hand and teleported them to the city... Roll for teleport miss chance... off target.
So instead of going shopping in Vyre, they instead got teleported to the island of deepmar... a Cheliax Penal Colony, which after many bad choices on their part, resulted in one serving 5 days hard labour, and the other being taken by slavers before they were eventually found and returned! They never managed to get to Vyre in the end.
6 By: Aaran Linhart
3rd ed Party were all dark elves using the template in the MM. rogue (me), fighter, wiz AND an orc barbarian we kept shackled unless fighting (our newby friend did not want to be a dark elf in our dark elf campaign...) we were like level 4-5 or so. My brother dm'd and for flavor would use hopped up variants of familiar creatures, like a buff hobgoblin or experienced rogue goblins. So we are leaving the underdark and come across a cult worshipping a white dragon. We find the dragon last but during the mini-boss fight we come across a circular dead end room with a hobgoblin boss standing behind a ring of kobolds and goblins. I come up first on initiative. I rush the line and roll to tumble through to avoid attacks, good roll. Come up tumbling to the hobgoblin leader and hamstring him while coming up from tumble. We both go down, me on top due to good rolls. Offhand attack roll I calles shot to pin his shoulder to the dirt floor with my dagger. Nat 20 Bam he's hurtin. The rest of the round I get beat on by his minions and then he, weaponless, punches me in the face and knocks me out. Top of initiative, my turn. Con save to regain consciousness, success! But I'm acting as if at 0 hp (subdual damage sucks) one attack left... Bare handed since losing consciousness I lost my mainhand dagger... Nat 20 to his nose! For the kill!! The orc ended up saving me by pulling the minions attention after their leaders face caved in. That character later coerced the baby white wyrmling to join us and eventually grew it into a large riding dragon .. Sfel D'zar level 26 Rogue, Assassin, dragon black guard. Conqueror of Crisslund