So before I can tell you the story, I need to start by explaining the things that led up to it… in the waning days of 4e I was running 5 games a week with various groups, most of the players in the groups knew each other and some were in multiple groups at once. The group I will be telling the story about is affectionately referred to as the “Afternoon” group and was the largest tragedy of a group I have ever had the pleasure of running. Mind you it started out well, but stupid player ideas and decisions combined well with terrible luck. Over the course of the 3 or 4 campaigns we ran with that group (most of them low level precon adventures tweaked to fit world lore) the group managed to lose at least a half a dozen characters.
It all started with their parties forming, players involved were (name altered for obvious reasons) Tina playing a dwarven battle cleric, Lulu playing a tiefling ranger with a wolf and owlbear companions, Jordan playing a human barbarian, steve playing a gnome bard, missy playing an eladrin palain, and lastly Morgan playing a snow elf illusionist wizard. At first glance this party looks amazing, great balance of offense, defense, cc, and healing with each character capable of subbing a role if one of the others goes down, right? First night in the tavern the bard and barbarian get so drunk they make messes of themselves in the tavern and the whole party is held responsible. 1st campaign barbarian suffers broken ribs before being killed by a low level wraith, paladin breaks her arm so can’t wield both her shield AND sword, cleric and ranger decide to leave party in middle of dungeon (literally exiting the dungeon, forgetting the only reason they manage to get here was by a guide) they get lost in the wilderness and are never seen again. The Bard and Paladin also contract filth fever, and the 2nd level guide is almost killed in combat (with low level enemies mind you). This was a pregenerated level 1 campaign for 4 level 1 charachters, streight out of dungeon magazine… there were 6 charachters two animal companions and an npc and they all almost died. BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE!
The next campaign sees the addition of Tinas alcoholic dragonborn warden, jordans human avenger, and lulu’s hengeyokai white well hexblade. Cue stupidity, bard decies to present himself to the bandits with the treasure they wanted (they promptly kill him), morgan drops out giving Steve her charachter. Steve precedes to misuse the character, resulting in the death of the avenger. The paladin is forced to kill a doppleganger who looks like her giving her PTSD, the barbarian returns as a wraith to aid the party in final boss fight, which results in a tpk, twice. (I’m lenient and let them try again, twice). Following this farce the wizard and hexblade drop out of the campaign entirely.
Well, third times the charm. The avenger is replaced by Jordan’s new scottish Psion/Bard, and Steves new Minotaur Monk. There quest, invetigate the strange lights coming from an abandoned tower. To get there they must walk up a 50 foot tall cliff with narrow walkways once used by the tower. All they had to do was sneak, not even well. There were two (2) sleepy and bored goblins manning the post, no one thought to be sneaky, I even dropped hints… but no. Combat begins. Arrows come raining down, at least 3 critical hits in the first round or so. Monk thinks he can jump up the sheer cliff, fails for obvious reasons, insert fall damage. The party makes it up the cliff, kills two dire rats, before the monk and bard are bull rushed off the cliff, twice. the paladin is disarmed (her sword goes back down the cliff too) and the warden hasn’t even made it up the cliff yet! (no idea why)
And when finally I assume it was going to end the party 3v1’s a small goblin. The monk and bard, fed up with getting knocked off the cliff hurl the little thorn in their side off the cliff, I roll damage, goblin lives with 1 hit point.
Bard: HA, How do you like that, whatchu gonna do now from down there!?
Cue monk and bard laughing, I roll dice, crit, hits monk in head, monk unconscious.
Goblin: I HAVE A BOW! (entire party is without ranged weaponry of any kind)
Dragonborn is just clapping, applauding the guts on this goblin, this one goblin is soloing the entire party. Paladin tries to kill it, nat 1. The goblin leaps over the paladin just for fun. Fed up, the Bard, a scot by nature, decides to end this. The party is aware the goblin ahs 1 hit point, the bard has 2, the party is out of healing abilities (surprisingly), so the bard and goblin make a deal. The bard comes down the cliff and the two drop their weapons. Each will punch the other, whoeoever succeeds in knocking out their opponent first wins and the fight will be over.
Bard rolls 1 too low and whiffs. Goblins rolls a 19 and punches bard right in the groin, maxes his damage, bard is down. Bard’s down, monk is down, paladin is standing in stunned belief but lays down her weapon in accordance with the rules of the duel and claps. Dragonborn rolling on the cliffside laughing and drinking in toast to the goblin. The entire party is beside themselves, beaten by a goblin with 1 hitpoint. The party tried to adopt him and affectionately named him “Whap” after a reference to some internet show I don’t watch.
Whap went on to be an on again off again ally to the party for the rest of the campaign after the party liberated the goblins of the tower from a tyrannical bugbear, inserting Whap as Goblin King of his 4 remaining goblin friends (who are the least threatening goblins you have ever seen).
And what of the party you ask? The monk would later die in the tower in combat with a giant spide because he split from the party and fell in a trap door. He would mementarily be relaced with a bugbear who died later after angering a god. The entire party would receive a tpk after opening and OBVIOUSLY TRAPPED CHEST (there was no way to make it more obvious but the party just wasn’t the brightest that day). The paladin would quit (and move away), and the remaining party members would forget they had a quest before running off to find a, I kid you not, “goblin who could play the banjo”. It was there our campaign just died. But the legend of Whap the Goblin lives on and is told to every group I play, to teach them that just because it’s small and insignificat, doesn’t mean it can’t kill you.
[zombify_post]
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