You ever find a DM who has AMAZING stories and extensive grand puzzles and long time legendary adventures of awesomeness…. and then that same DM, the kind of person you would pay to have dm… also has some severe problems and injects her personal biases, hatred and racism into the game?
We found a great dm, awesome dm with a great old timey traditional adventure story. Save the princess, destroy the evil dragon, kill the necromancer!!!
But we would see some disturbing hints to her motivations, firstly she put a great deal of effort in explaining that every illusion spell or magical injury we suffered felt “deeply violating and extremely against your will!” And of course every time we weren’t overly cautious and making sure to magically check and identify literally everything before we so much as breathed in the general direction of it we would “trigger the one and only trap set in the entire dungeon which gives an unrepairable unremovable magical curse that cannot be countered or ever removed. And it would be something as debilitating as “You’re afraid of the sky!” So you had permanent disadvantage on everything when you’re outside or just be outright killed and instantly start rolling death saves. And we would NEVER find anything when we looked for it, never find a single thing, no curses, no traps, no anything when we actively looked for it and rolled well. But fail a check or just caution to the wind… and BAM curses traps and death galore!
We suffered through the slightly concerning content until we hit a point where our party found a succubus, and of course succubi are… well not very wholesome and don’t usually ask for consent. Far back when we first started, we all agreed we didn’t really wanna see rape happen in our campaign. The DM apparently took this as “no WOMEN being raped” as she actively struggled not to go into detail of what this succubus would do to the party members every time she charmed them.
The Succubus however tagged along with the party and “helped”, mostly with knowledge and the like. And when my wholesome nonsexual bean talked to the succubus to ask about another devil we encountered, the room went silent when the DM responded… “Roll a wisdom saving throw”
I firmly responded “Don’t you dare rape my character”
And she calmly retorted “Don’t talk to the Succubus then!”
Now this would have just been very aggravating, thankfully I aced that save and my wholesome boi stayed wholesome, but I brought this up when other people, the DM’s friends were present and she suddenly changed her reasoning. Saying “Oh!, I’m hurt you think I would do such a vile thing!”
This kinda stuff happened fairly regularly. And even when she was called out. “No! I saw where that NPC was, you don’t get to move them into the line of fire to force us to kill them all.” She did this a LOT.
Then there was her odd sense of Justice. We would debate interrogating enemies who killed and or tortured people, and she would threaten to change our alignment to evil due to our desire to save lives by interrogating evil men with violence. But if the character was rich, or grown white human man, she would try and debate how evil we were for not killing them and not even giving them a chance.
Additionally, she had a weird thing with race. I love the traditional struggles between groups like dwarfs and elves and the like. And whenever we would joke about this stuff she would scoff and say “So you’re just a white man?” And eventually we got tired of it and tried to ask her to cut it out, we just wanted our immersion and fun, which led to her breaking out into a huge rant about “You HAVE to be white to be racist! I’m working on my own racism due to being white. YOU SHOULD TOO!”
This and much more kept going on, and we all thought many times about leaving but honestly, we have come to the conclusion that she’s more or less the equivalent to a dog that chews on the furniture. We scold her until she doesnt, and hopefully she’ll learn. But we know for certain, if we bluntly tell her how we feel… she will go apeshit and block us in accusation of being evil white men.
We see her as a human who can do better. We are just hoping she can overcome all this. We know it’s all but hopeless, but we are desperate for Dnd, and aside from all this racism and sexual violence… She is an amazing DM, I know this kinda sounds bad, and nothing I say can change that. But we are desperate for a good story and a DM that actually shows up every time.