The Sandwich Incident

Very first table, still my favorite story of stupidity


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  1. So this was my first character, my first table. Our DM has since referred to the event of stupidity as "The Sandwich Incident"

A little setup here. The party consisted of an Orc Fighter, a Dwarf Wizard, a Human War Cleric and my Tiefling Barbarian, Rahlia.

 This was the first character I had ever built. A lot of people didn't understand why i made a Tiefling Barbarian, as the stats don't complement each other (I later learned the value in having a fire resistant barbarian team up with a Wizard casting Fireball) , but I was new to this and made a character I could have fun playing.

Thus Rahlia was created, a blood red tiefling with long black hair. She was the daughter of a tiefling wizard and a Red Tiger barbarian, a forbidden union that caused her to be born in exile. Her Tiger heritage showed as her tail was more tiger-like, with black stripes. 

She was more of a Con and Dex kind of girl, dual-wielding swords. The party tended to find lots of magical loot, so she ended up with a Flametongue, a +2 Rapier and a Cloak of Displacement.

She and the Cleric, Edward, became an item after he saved her life with healing magic. The two became inseperable and oddly enough, this relationship saved both of their lives multiple times.

Rahlia had lots of really weird adventures with this party, including attacking a shopkeeper because she saw a woman begging outside and thought the man was hoarding gold, forcing her to beg (the party then tried to explain economics) and an expedition inside a very Wild Magically cursed Mummy's Tomb. But you're here for the sandwich.

So our quest took us to a ship looking for ties to a major criminal, a fancy cruise ship that catered to elite nobility. Our group didnt qualify… Well, the Wizard and Sorceror did but the rest of us would have to wait.

Well, we hatched a plan to get onboard. The sorceror cast Seeming on Rahlia, hiding her weapons and appearance under a disguise as a noble woman.

The Orc and Edward dressed in the finest outfits we had and claimed to be wealthy merchants, even with a large bag of their own gold to brag with. "Well, if my orc merchant partner isn't good enough for your establishment, we will just take our massive wealth elsewhere!" argument got them in.

So each of us got to work investigating. Rahlia got distracted by the dinner selection, The Orc started gambling. Edward and the Wizard went about talking to people while the Sorceror snuck around and looked through people's belongings.

The Sorceror was caught and knocked unconscious. The spell faded and revealed a well-armed Tiefling barbarian instead of a proper lady that was eating a sandwich. Rahlia didn't notice the change as she was entirely invested in her food.

The guards swarmed to attack her and they all went. But with her high Dex score causing great AC,  plus her cloak giving them disadvantage, they couldn't land a blow on her. She simply ignored it and continued eating her sandwich.

The captain then had an idea. He attacked the sandwich. His blade struck it and knocked it to the floor. Then it was Rahlia's turn again.

Raging for the loss of her sandwich, the dice gods were in favor as i rolled a Nat 20. The total damage i rolled was more than twice the Captain's HP and he was cut to pieces. The rest of the guards… They ran away, screaming about the Demon on the ship.

We ended up finding the Criminal's brother and discerning our next goal. We found the Sorceror after he made all his Death Saves, he was fine) We left the ship in total chaos and the Orc managed to help cut through any guards that regained their courage and tried to fight us.

This campaign went for years and almost every single person became a close friend. The DM is our usual DM, The Dwarf Wizard is the guy who played Hellboy and father of Murder Paladin, and Edward's player is my fiance. 

To this day when things go insane and we confuse the DM, we usually end up bringing up The Sandwich Incident. 


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