The Tale of The Rogue and The Goblin

A carefully laid plan goes horribly wrong in the most amusing way.

1 point

I joined a new DnD group that was discord based and it was our first campaign test run. Our DM was fairly experienced and we had two experienced players (one being me) as well as two people new to the game. The campaign had a fairly basic start. "You all arrive in a small town just outside of Neverwinter. Adventurers looking to make a fortune for yourself." so on and so forth. I had decided to play a shunned High-Elf Royal Rogue. Born and raised as a prince until his father caught him in some unsavory pursuits and banished him from the kingdom forcing him to learn the hard life of a thief. But his story is not the one we follow today. Today we are here to talk about Droop the goblin. Our group consisted of a Half-elf fighter, a dragonborn fighter, a human wizard, and my rogue. We were tasked with clearing out a mansion on the outskirts of town that had been taken over by bandits of some sort. We tried to gather more information about them but that is all anyone in town would confirm. When we arrived at the mansion it was in pretty bad shape. Run down with windows boarded up and such we decided the best way in would be a cellar door on the side of the house. After entering the cellar we encountered a few skeletons and helped a trapped family escape back to town. Soon we came upon a room that would change the campaign drastically, though none of us knew that yet. I stealthed my way through the door as I had been the scout for most of the mansion to this point. Our DM described a smaller room filled with three Bugbears circled around a small goblin. They were taunting him and bullying him, making him dance for their amusement. Simultaneously my rogue and i had brilliant, horrible idea. I shot one of the bugbears with my bow and shouted for my friends to come kill the bugbears but instructed them not to harm the goblin. After the bugbears lay slain upon the ground i approached the small goblin with a kind look upon my face. "Do not be frightened. We wont hurt you. Would you like to come with us away from this foul place?" the goblin nodded emphatically at the chance to leave. "What is your name? You have a name don't you?" i asked. "Droop" it replied. "Stay close to me and i will protect you Droop. Given enough time i can even teach you to be strong." seeing the goblins eyes light up with curiosity at the chance to be able to fend for himself all he had to do was follow this man who just saved him. We safely made it out of the mansion after clearing it out and made it back to town. Upon entering the inn where the group had been staying. The rogue instructed the bartender to draw up a basin of warm water in the back and after some coaxing convinced the goblin to take a bath. "You cant be an adventurer looking like that now can you?" he said. As soon as the bath was finished they went to a tailor and bought some simple clothing for Droop. Although the goblin did insist on a rather fancy hat that he rather liked and upon hearing the price the rogue obliged. After getting the goblin dressed the rogue placed a backpack on the goblins back. "No matter what happens you are not to look in this pack. This pack is for something very special and its very important it must not be disturbed. Understand?" The goblin agreed with enthusiasm. No one had ever been this nice to him and this was a simple rule to follow. carry a pack and not look inside how could he mess that up? The following weeks the group did all sorts of jobs earning coin in the little town. Now since we had no healer in our group i had decided to take a proficiency in alchemy and invest in a set early on. Initially healing potions were the only thing i had thought of but after seeing the goblin that my pc had befriended i started to invest in oil flasks. In a separate chat in our discord server the DM and I had some conversations about buying all the flasks i could and refining them into high explosives. We did the research on explosive ranges and damage rolls things like that. I knew that i wanted enough explosive to be able to get us out of a sticky situation if we needed it. If there was a time we had but off more than we could chew this would be my ace in the hole and it would be a hell of a surprise for the rest of the party. How horribly right and wrong i was. After refining the required amount of oil and storing it in Droops pack i was very proud of my secret plot. I remember thinking to myself how it would be a key moment in the campaign if i ever got to use this. Now our half-elf fighter was one of the new players and had been on a rant about finding a pet for a few sessions. He had been asking around town for a while until finally someone told him of a farm in town that sold baby chicks. So immediately, not caring what kind of pet he had, he went to the farm to inquire about the baby chicks. There was a small boy selling the chicks that told him about a "small black chick that gave him a weird feeling when he held it." The small boy also said some of the other chicks had been disappearing ever since the black chick had arrived. Upon hearing the description you could hear the wizard and myself suck air through our teeth knowing this was surely a bad omen but not willing to interfere out of character the fighter bought the black chick as well as a regular white one. He made his way back to the inn with both chicks and when he entered he sat them upon the bar we were having drinks and a meal at and gave them some bread. After a quick conversation in character about where he got the chicks and some planning for what to do the next day the DM chimes in. "As you all are eating and drinking, you glance down and notice that the white chick is missing. No feathers, no blood, just gone." We look around for a minute to try and find it. Rolled a few high investigations and perception checks. still nothing. "Huh that's weird" says the fighter. "Oh well, I like the black one better anyway!" he exclaimed. After the rogue and wizard exchange worried glances the wizard nods his head up the stairs to have a private in character conversation. I dont recall a lot of the specifics of this conversation but it boiled down to both of them having a fairly bad feeling about the chick. As we approached the bar Droop made a swipe for the chick. It disappeared from the bar. Just. Gone. After a moment we look around and behind us on the table there are two black chicks. We look some more there are four on the staircase leading upstairs. We turn to the fighter there are eight black chicks surrounding him on his shoulders and sitting near him on the bar. "Uh Oh" The rogue immediately decides to distance himself from whatever is happening and runs out of the bar into the street. At the same time the wizard uses burning hands. In our homebrew one of the rules is once someone says something thats how the story plays out. it makes for a lot of interesting storylines and fun scenarios. So as soon as i heard the words burning hands come out of the wizards mouth I immediately felt my gut drop. I had left Droop in the bar, in the direction the wizard was casting the spell, with a pack full of an unholy amount of high explosives. "Roll a dex save." It was a 6. Full damage. The DM cuts to my perspective. You turn back to look as you are creating distance but before you can say anything you see the familiar flames coming from your companions hands shoot out and engulf the area in which the most chicks are, the bar, also lighting Droops pack on fire. The entire inn explodes in true Michael Bay fashion. The other party members roll dex saves and none of them survive. The rogue takes some damage from the shrapnel but manages to survive. He proceeds to wrap his cloak around him after looking at the flames engulfing the inn once more and immediately makes his way out of town, Promising himself he would never befriend another goblin.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Choose A Format
Trivia quiz
Series of questions with right and wrong answers that intends to check knowledge
Formatted Text with Embeds and Visuals
The Classic Internet Listicles
Open List
Submit your own item and vote up for the best submission
Ranked List
Upvote or downvote to decide the best list item