A little backstory to begin. Its 5e based near the town of neverwinter. Our group has been loading up on side quests, which is what brought us to the town of Neverwinter in the first place. in our party is a Goliath Barbarian, Half elf Monk (me), a dragon paladin (there was some planning to make sure he wasnt broken. it was the only way he’d play), and the star of our story, a water genasi(sp?) sorcerer that just put in a level of wizard. a little bit leading up. The barbarian was pickpocketed and me using the falcon we started tracking them down. we didnt find him the first day so we took a long rest that night. but not before participating in fight club. The goliath in our party of course was the only one to beat me. we wake up the next morning to find that the water genasi has already left. he went to get some mushrooms to trip. i have no idea why. when i come out with my hawk (whose name is mr falconi) i see him. i roll insight to see whats wrong with him. dm tells me hes not drunk. i shrug my shoulders and have the falcon track down the pick pocket. we (the goliath and i) finally catch up to the theif and find out its a kid. we set him straight and then the goliath talks me into busting in the hideout. this part is important because this is where we find the 3 theif kids. we hatch an idea to take down this thieves guild because of all the hvt’s we found on the hideout board. as we start to leave i remember that our sorceror wizard is still high on shrooms. so i tell the kids about him and we give them 15 gp to go pull pranks on him. I go to the inn to check up on the water genasi. he’s in his room on his bed still soaring in the clouds. and right beside him is one of the kids sewing his clothes to the bed. with him still in them. i take his staffs and his trident. for some reason hes always got a hard on for staffs. i hide them throughout the inn and people start making bets on how long itll take to find them. we go off to the wizard tower and find out what this symbol is for this thieves guild. we manage to find an entrance under the city to the catacombs. we enlist the help of some dragon born and some kobolds to help dig. i go back to the inn and see that hes found all his stuff already and that i had won the first bet. by this time the drugs have slightly worn off, but knocks him unconcious. i go back up and i take all of his stuff again and this time his spellbook too. i check back on the kid and hes applying wax to his entire body. hes even drawn a phallus on his forehead and waxed it in. i have the people in the tavern hide his stuff. i make sure no one steals it by letting them know this was just a prank and if they tried anything underhanded theyd regret it. everything gets hidden and i go off. the tunnel is finally ready. the barbarian the paladin and i (the monk) go down into the tunnel. we run around trying to find where this theives guild could be. thats when we run into 7 vampires. because i decided to go ahead i managed to sneak by them. i feel stuck so i tell the dm im going to take a short rest to attune to this new sword i found that i was really sure was magical. i left behind markers for the other 2 to find me. the barbarian somehow sneaks by them. they were munching down on a corpse so they werent paying attention. in comes the paladin. he kinda bumbles into the table close to me and on reaction i take and throw my hat towards the other end of the room. (i should say now that my monk is based on kung lao from mk) i manage to distract them and the paladin is undetected. they start fanning out. i manage to assassins creed one as it was coming around the corner. the paladin and i kill it in the surprise round with some really luck rolls. i notice these vampires are half elves. so i pick the dead vamp up. one of the other vamps heard the commotion and starts to walk over. not wanting to face six more i take a chance and peak the dead vampires head out and say in elven “Nothing over here” i dont know how but i managed to get him to go away. we wait them out and we take them out when some of them left. we managed to get out and find some doors with other (what we assume to be) thieves symbols. we found what we came here to do and agree to go back home. we get back to the inn. sorceror is awake and has the exhausted tag on him and hes trying to get out of bed. hes been completely sewn and somehow manages to get himself off the bed. he almost burns himself on a candle trying to burn off the blankets. he then almost burns down his door with fireball. by the time he gets downstairs im waiting for him. i investigate him because my character suspects that there were drugs on him that caused his condition i had seen that morning. i end up having to do stunning strike on him to get the mushrooms off him. i dont know if he learned his lesson but he always tends to put himself in these situations. listening to him having yo roleplay through this high was the most ive died laughing for a long time.