Zilv the Drow Assassin’s Humorous Misadventures

By: John Freddie Krueger


This is the story, of my first session of D&D.
My character; Zilv the Drow assassin awoke from an enchantment that made my new group on a merry chase, to see a half-orc, giant lizard(Sylvester the elf druid who will burn down a forest soon), a gold Dragonborn, and a woman standing around me on the roof of a very ramshackle building. Shortly after we began conversing, it collapsed, I rolled amazing and made the fall look easy, no one else did. As they were picking themselves off the ground, my instincts kicked in and I ran for the nearest exit, taking the form of a door on the other side of the door. Unfortunately, Sylvester’s tail whipped at me and tripped me slamming me to the ground. The half-orc (that I have been bickering with since I joined) bound me and hauled me with them to an arena that a chunk of the party was to fight in the next day for a guild wars thing. The half-orc leaned against the wall outside the arena and kept an eye on the market square below, only to notice I had slipped my bonds and was trying to sneak away from him(I rolled horrible, even my +7 to sneak didn’t help much). He looked at me, asked “Really?” and I turned around and shot an arrow at him… Only to have it bounce off his chainmail armour. Utterly humiliated, I whipped out my daggers and proceeded to attempt to scale the wall of the arena…only to roll a nat 1 and have the entire wall reverberate around me and spit me across the market square knocking me unconscious for the first of many times. Nearly put an end to my playing D&D right there too… In fact, there have been many days like that, and you will hear about them as my humiliation is your hilarity.


Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Choose A Format
Trivia quiz
Series of questions with right and wrong answers that intends to check knowledge
Formatted Text with Embeds and Visuals
The Classic Internet Listicles
Open List
Submit your own item and vote up for the best submission
Ranked List
Upvote or downvote to decide the best list item