How a Spider’s Bizzare Adventure Got Weirder

When being a Giant Spider is not the weirdest thing in a campaign.


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(image from the mwangi expanse book for pathfinder 2e.)

Note: This is in a homebrewed  pathfinder, 2e game were all species are edited to make the world more  similar to what you’d see in Beastars and Zootopia, because why not?  meaning all the more “classic” or generic species are redesigned as  other things, and I will simply use the species name  they would’ve had in a more standard game. A guide will be put at the very bottom.

My character, Fang, is from Waterdeep, a coastal city and Capitol of the Kingdom. His family immigrated there from down south, so look more like African Wild Dogs compared to the more common canines of the city. He is a swashbuckler (2es mix between fighter and rogue with panache) eager to make a name for himself, and wants to bring fame to his family, to increase customers, and to have clout in case anyone made a fuss against his family’s business selling exotic silk products.

The business is doing good, since it is such high quality silk, and in such unique, fashionable designs. And the reason for that is because Fang and his immediate family are all secretly Anadi; peaceful giant spider people that understand how horrifying their true forms are to others, and so people has spent generations working on a perfect illusion/transformation mix to let them pass for “human”.

During a large festival and feast in the city, there is a random lottery to be invited to a party at the castle, and my character, being well-dressed, got noticed very easily by those selecting who should go. This is where he met the rest of the party. A gnoll bard, an Azerketi Monk, and a Kobold Sorcerer.

Hearing about how the three had just met and wanted to go off together on an adventure, I got to talking with them and got to tag along the next day. (not before getting to spend another night at home and let my family know. they understood with how my character’s personality was, and it was a friendly goodbye until I return.)

The kobold party member was considered eccentric by his kind, feeling it is time for kobolds to reverse their position with dragons. Kobolds had basically taken a district of waterdeep for themselves due to a greedy nobleman exploiting and important them as cheap labor, and they had had enough of the abuse. So our kobold is a city native like my character, and also grew up with the story of the dragon who was defeated by a simple horse, and felt that dragons were not worth worshipping if they could be beaten that easily.

The monk is a little feral and instinctual, acting more moody the closer it gets to the full moon. He is big, and very fast with many rapid attacks, and of course many watery themed ones.

The bard is the classic “bard”, but has thankfully has not made things awkward. I had managed to turn things around on him here and there, like when he asked were the “eye candy” was, I’d quip back that that was him. Or if he was asking for a hot meal, that that was also him. Basically turning it all into a bunch of friendly little jokes in the party.

In  the first encounter months ago, me and the group were leading a rag-tag  bunch of farmers, and at least the village elder/leader was a gnome veteran. The quest was for discovering the village’s missing grain. and it turned out it was stolen to make beer for an upcomming bandit fight club.   I was worried though as we barely talked our way out of a fight  with an unrelated group of bandits, and sneaking up to see just how  many were in the cave, I felt like it would be a tpk since we were only  level 1 or 2 still.

However,  not only were most of the fighters drunk already, a lot of them seemed  to be small-time ruffians and others there to bet and party. The conman seemed to  realize things are not going is way, as he had encouraged multiple party goers to jump in at us  while he ran. The party was diverse enough to handle the fight well actually. I  was trying to hold back a little since the threat was not as  worrisome as I imagined, and Anadi are not really killers by nature, I still accidentally used my Rapier and went Silver Chariot on two in one turn (deadly d8 is strong and something easy to forget).

In character, I felt bad about it since my character had never killed  before, but was reassured by the Village Elder, who had given me a cane  sword as a reward for helping the village not starve for the winter. And  getting back on the road, there was the realization that in the end,  I’d still choose my traveling companions over hostile forces.

But  weeks latter, after much adventuring, the big, buff Azerketi getting into a spat with a werewolf bandit, encountering a friendly crystal  dragon who protects the rights of a Kobold tribe to their mountain home  that was being dug into, and an underwater wizard tower  full of bound  imps and a demon-like dog thing, we made it to another town, and found  the Conman still had a bounty out for yet more shenanigans. It was on  our roadtrip through the kingdom’s towns and whatnot anyway, and we  still needed to catch him for completing the bounty.

(note:  due to some conflict between me irritating another player, the Gnoll  Bard’s player has temporarily left, and is returning soon thankfully. I  have improved a lot, but was rather grating with how slow and quiet I  used to be. it was my fault and there was no yelling, but I have worked  very hard to be a better player to be around.)

And  our plan was ridiculous (partially fueled by me) once we finally  arrived at where he was last reported seen, or at least where he planned  to visit in his latest scheme. and it was a full moon of some little  revelations: In this time from then till now, it was  revealed that our Azerketi party member was some sort of Shark hybrid.  Not truly a wereshark, but still changed and got moody near the fullmoon  time of month. I revealed that I was a giant spider person to be fair  at how his secret was revealed to us by a bandit attack. While the  Kobold party member had to work on staying calm for a moment, the  Azerketi seemed to enjoy how big, soft, and fluffy I was, and had  conflicting feelings of being petted like a dog. and while I was still  in my disguise form more often than not, our Monk friend decided to be  more free with his hybrid form in general, and is a rather handsome  shark guy like that.

But  the relevance here is that since the Conman and his guys do not know  that one party member left and how two members have different forms, we  could split up and gather info in town since the Kobold would be the  only one similar to before. It would look like the party split up.

So  I pretended to be this big, hunk of a sharkman’s exotic, giant spider,  pet going about his day and slowly gathering info on were to find our  bounty goal.

The big guy thinks I look really cute, and we had even gotten a pet collar and all to sell the act. I  get petted a lot here, and at a bar, he gets me a bowl of water, and I  think that was just a joke between friends though as he has been great  otherwise. Though it is not helped by how my character likes guys, and  enjoys the attention. (My character made it clear this whole hiding  thing was just a one-time thing to make sure our target did not bolt.)

And  after helping defend our Kobold friend from a Gnoll bounty hunter who  was not happy about others edging in in “his bounties”, we got info out  of beating him up in self defense on where our target was going to be.

So  we confront this Dwarven conman, snake-oil salesman pitch and all,  selling fake cure-all potions to townsfolk, and start a ruckus. The Azerketi calls him out; this huge shark with a spider calling the guy a sham and that he is wanted.

The Kobold alerts everyone to check their pockets, since the dwarf had cronies stealing from the distracted audience. Of  course, as people start to do this, the cronies actually do bolt off  out of panic; And I am let loose to chase them down, trip them, and  stand on top of both as a proud spider pet tapping their heads with a  few legs. The monk gives a big, toothy shark grin and warns them not to  try anything while he goes after the conman, claiming I am very  venomous. It helps sell the act and the townsfolk get their money back.

We  are able to prove to the guards responding to the disturbance that this  guy is actually wanted, and how many townsfolk had their money  returned, it was enough to make sure our wanted guy would go in for  questioning. Although he got away in the end due to his many contacts,  we still got our bounty in time. (our Kobold did some backroom dealing  when the rest of the party was out of sight, but nothing betraying us,  and this guy seemed to have a lot of eyes and ears to help him get free  anyway. I don’t think anyone in the party is lawful regardless of that.)

And  we are at a turning point, where back in Waterdeep, my character’s  immigrant family had said they were being harassed  by a corrupt sheriff stirring the pot since he is petty and vindictive.  So I am between wanting to rush back home and do whatever I can to help,  and trusting my family when they say it is not bad but will eventually  escalate. And if I have to, I will get help wherever I can, even if I  have to do something for Grandmother.

But until then, my gay, fluffy spider is left with many thoughts on being treated as a pet by the handsome shark.

human=canines, dwarves= badgers, elves= deer, azerketi=otters, orcs=big cats, drow=jackelopes, and gnomes=small things like geckos or burrowing creatures, and halfings=foxes. Kobolds, Goblins, anadi, and a few other are kept the same.

[zombify_post]


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