Telipathicaly talk to them
So we come to a town that has had problems with goblin kidnappings and we meet a master roshi looking gate keeper like with the shell in all but he also has a spear . he asks us for help however this entire time keeps his eyes on me with his spear sorta in my direction at all times so we agree to help and go to the tavern to get info (cliche i know ) and its elf ran so we sit down she takes orders see my lips are sown shut amd leaves but i ask for some moonshine telipathically . she turns around looks at me and then heads in the back when she comes back hands everybody their drinks but asks me to pay up front (but no one else ) i shake head no cuz she was being racist and wasnt gona have so she shrugs. Smiles and walks away i throw the human bards glass at her (which he had already downed ) but miss and hit the owner he calls guards and im thrown out so i go to another tavern in a less hospital part of town and get druck off my ass come back and start smashing the windows and shit then after demolishing the place i grab a chair lodge it in a fireplcae to wear it can get removed and then throw a bottle of wisky on the floor infront of the fire place and we all head for the goblins camp half way there we see roshi and he looks pissed he asked me why i did it but i dont awnser so he drops his turtle pack cracks his back and streches his arms witch are rippling with muscle and now stands up strait he now is a head taller then me (i was 7 foot had to role a 15 of a d20 to get it ) and is looking like the rock on future alien steroids and then picks me up and throws me like team rocket
And thats how i got killed by a town of nazi elfs i was gona help
[zombify_post]
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