That Time I Shut the Annoying Guy Up

A friend of ours was kind of an idiot, and was having one of his episodes of taking things too seriously. I threw it back at him in a way that made everyone laugh!


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Back when 4th edition was still the latest version, my friends and I participated in a great homebrew campaign. This story only really involves four of our group’s members:  Markus, the human artificer with a sense of humor; Gogol, the goliath warden, naive but a good heart; Dalabrac, halfling rogue played by aforementioned annoying guy; and Vairwyn, half-elf swordmage, played by myself.

On one of our adventures, we needed to enter a wizard’s tower, but we soon realized we faced a problem:  the tower in question had no doors! Markus and Vairwyn were able to detect that some of the rocks around the place have something like a weak magical aura to them thanks to our ability to sense and manipulate arcane magic. Gogol asked if he could do this magic as well. Markus decided to be silly and just told him “sure thing! Go for it!” What Gogol didn’t realize was that Markus and Vairwyn weren’t channeling magic, they’d simply detected the magic that was already there, like a weak enchantment placed upon these stones, that would allow someone who picked one up to teleport inside the tower, which our group succeeded at doing. This done, we were able to converse with the reclusive mages in the tower, in a bid to find the information we sought.

Later that evening, back at our group’s little hideout, Gogol began to express his excitement that he can perform this arcane magic, having kept the rock that had gotten him into the wizard’s tower, now fully mundane after the enchantment had been used up when we entered the tower. Having no training or talent for arcane magic, Gogol had no idea the rock was now no more magical than the bricks that lined the walls of our hideout. Markus still hadn’t let up on the whole farce, further encouraging Gogol, telling him he’s got everything he needs to become a mighty wizard. Dalabrac (or rather, his player) just couldn’t let this stand, trying desperately to convince Gogol in character that he wasn’t magical. Vairwyn wanted nothing to do with any of this conversation, having already laid down in an attempt to rest, but the others, especially Dalabrac, were loud enough that he finally muttered, “could you guys please keep it down?”

“Vairwyn,” Dalabrac answered, ignoring the half-elf’s plea for silence and instead holding Gogol’s “magic” rock towards him, “is this rock magical?” obviously hoping that Vairwyn would speak the truth. Instead, Vairwyn’s immediate response was, “yes! Congratulations, you found a magic rock, now shut up, I’m trying to sleep!” At this point the whole table was laughing at Dalabrac (and his player)’s frustration, and I was feeling pretty satisfied at having taken the guy down a peg.


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