DnD Tales From The TableTop (Episode #13)

Catch up with everything posted on All Things DnD yesterday


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God it would be great to listen to him DM

Ouch

Punk rock d&d campaign

  1. 1 By: Christopher Watson

    Haven't played D&D in years, then found All things D&D and decided to DM my own game on roll20. Finally being a DM instead of a player I can tell you my players have:

    -Murdered half the merchants in the starting town before the guards could chase them out
    -The techno druid turned one of the massively OP clockwork animatrons into her pet
    -Sneak abord an airship in rice
    -Convince an NPC to marry them, throw a big wedding, invite the airship captain (encounter boss) to said wedding
    -Make friends with the monster miniboss
    -Help said miniboss murder the shit out of the captain and everyone else attending the wedding
    -Intimidate the pilot into acknowledging them as the captain
    -They are now flying around in a luxury airship with a giant mech body guard and massive plant guard dog (which the druid keeps trying to grow bigger!) And are basically sky pirates
    -I occasionally throw meteors at the players who annoy me

    Let your DM know you appreciate them and the effort they go to to create these worlds for you to run amok in XD

  2. 2 By: Alex Cooley

    I’ve been playing with a group of 6 players for just a few weeks now, we’ve entered the dungeon of some strange magic user, and after several trials we find ourselves suddenly in a city bank via teleportation magic. Our task, assigned to us by the BBEG who runs the dungeon, is to rob the bank and steal a magical green orb. With no other choices, all six of us, without consulting each other, spring into three different plans. I (The Bard), get in line and start pretending I’m a wealthy customer, trying to convince the teller that the orb we seek is actually mine and I’m here to pick it up. One of our warlocks, and our monk, disappear into the bathroom. They both go invisible and begin skulking about. Meanwhile, our other warlock and our barbarian start trying to go upstairs. Here’s the problem. The upstairs is guarded, it’s for employees only, and the warlock and barbarian are not very persuasive. After several failed persuasion attempts, the warlock yells something like “LOOK OVER THERE” then turns into a gaseous form, he begins trying to slowly float upstairs. The guards freak, yelling “MAGIC USER!” and sounding alarms. The barbarian makes a dash upstairs, the gaseous warlock then floats into the air vents. Meanwhile the two invisible PCs and I are on our way to the vault, being escorted by a teller, no trouble at all. As we peacefully continue our withdrawal downstairs, the barbarian desperately tries to hide upstairs. The warlock then drops his gaseous form, only to assume the form of another bank employee upstairs, this obviously confuses the guard as there are now two copies of “Deborah the Accountant”. The warlock manages to convince the guards that the real Deborah is actually the fake one, the guards begin beating her and restraining her as the warlock slips away and heads for the vault. After some time, a little bit more confusion, and some intimidation attempts, we all somehow end up in the vault. 

    So to recap, I walked in, came up with a fake name and said I was here to pick up my orb and was promptly taken back to the vault to get it. Meanwhile, two invisible people snuck in behind me, two other people broke into the employees only section (one by turning into a fart), alerted the entire bank of trouble, framed an innocent woman and had her beaten, then snuck into the vault a few minutes later. It was a simple job for us… well some of us.

  3. 3 By: David Quinton

    I was playing a dirge bard in an evil campaign. The DM had the party participate in a talent show to the death put on by a lich we were sent to assassinate by our dark lord.

    It’s my turn to perform and I ask the DM “Hey what’s this stage and theater made out of again?” He answers bones flippantly and immediately narrows his eyes at me. I use dance of the dead and Crit my performance roll. Animated the entire amphitheater made of bones to play Under The Sea from little mermaid. The DM called house rules on such performances and I had to sing the whole song accurately from memory for it to work. I jammed that shit out in character voice then after my performance was over I said “Now I command the entire theater to kill the lich.” And the theater ate the lich.

  4. 4 By: Kodie Dunn

    So I was dm'ing a campaign when one of our usuals couldn't make it, so we make a new party of characters with a new storyline. We had a human monk, a human paladin, an elf rouge, and an aasimar monk.

    A good day of playing we sleep in an abandoned house. When we awoke, we exited the house and appeared in what we thought was an illusion. After a round of DC checks to see if we could see through the illusion, we roll high but still notice nothing (it wasn't an illusion.)

    The place was a labyrinth that at every dead end had a random monster you had to fight, and every room had 2 dragon wyrmlings.

    After a couple hours we make it about halfway through the labyrinth and run into a salamander, the human monk doesn't fight it because he notices the salamander wasn't attacking him. He notices we were struggling though almost finished him and jumps in, attacks, and uses his ki to disengage. We kill him before the monks next turn. Me being the oath of conquest, I disapprove of his apparent running away after taking fire damage from attacking the salamander. My character rolls a strength check and throws the dead salamander at the monk before the body cooled off dealing damage to the monk. A fight ensues and I put down the monk who gets up again and tries to attack me in my sleep immediately after (I tried to long rest) because I left him to live or die in his own regard. I beat him down again, picking him up to 1 health as a show of respect for having the balls to try me again.

    Anyway, that's our dynamic, I wake up from my long rest and wake up the party and merely say "we are leaving," and start walking, we arrive at another dead end and the monster happens to be a werewolf. I roll and use my divine smite dealing most of the werewolfves health in a single turn, then get bit and drop to the floor. The monk sees this and thinks this is his moment to prove himself (living solely in the monetary he didn't know what a werewolf is,) plants his hand on the ground kicking the werewolf in the mouth, he crit fails, the dm asks him to roll again, he crit fails again. He kills the werewolf by kicking its teeth in and in doing so, accidentally turning himself. After the fight ends, the 500 year old elf knows what is happening and turns and takes off, pulling the other monk with him.

    We both turn into hybrids and roll perception for the scent, we pass and follow them, slowly catching up to them, they run into a big room and run straight past the dragon wyrmlings that are in the room and through the door. We lose all interest in the pc's and go for dragon blood. We manage to turn one of the dragons but I accidentally kill it while its dropped on the floor starting to shift. As the monk kills the other one we run through the door after the pc's and turn the wrong way running into another room, with more wyrmlings, with the immunities werewolves get, we manage to slaughter the other dragons quickly and continue through the labyrinth and arrive at the end only to be teleported to a throne room of a goddess who forced us into human form and paid us for entertaining he in her labyrinth.

    We decided our campaign will be a holy war with us forging a werewolf army.

    That's a great day of D&D.

  5. 5 By: Leslie Mann

    Tales from a recent Curse of Strahd game:

    I GM my games and post them to Youtube but they don't always have the full story. Like any GM I chat with my players between sessions. The previous session ended with the players getting a level deep inside the Amber Temple.So the Tieffling Sorcerer says he wants to go "Hexblade" and earn a sentient weapon. I told him sure it should be something you encounter. We are in the temple now so maybe it's a byproduct of the evil there. It was agreed and he said he wanted a cool chain with a snake head on it.

    So later the group is finally going for a long rest and as planned with the Tieffling the chain slithers along the ground and curls up on him. The NPC on watch saw nothing but unfortunately two of the players got woken up by the noise. One of them, weilding the Sun Blade felt that the chain thing was evil and was determined to destroy it. The other, the bard, tried to grab it off his friend, getting badly shocked in the process.

    The group at this time is standing over a set of 30ft stairs. The bard pitches the chain over the edge. The warrior dashes after it. The sorcerer, who wants the chain dives over the side slowing down with magic. the chain wraps around his leg just as the warrior swings at it.

    As GM I decide if she crits this roll and does enough damage it will take the leg clean off. And low and behold.. CRIT, massive nearly Tieffling killing damage. His leg is cut clean off and thankfully for him the wound is cauterized by the fire her blade contains (think lightsaber action).

    She is mortified at her actions but satisfied that the evil chain snake is dead. The bard is hurt from the shock. The tieffling is astounded at losing his leg and his damaged new weapon. (he did get it in time but I had to work it in again).

    By the end of the session the bard was killed by a giant bird that snatched him away. The Warrior has gone off to drink fermented potatoes for a while, and the tieffling has made a deal with the Abbot to get his leg grown back, and ends up mutated in the process (thanks to his rolls they are all cool mutations rather than ugly ones).

    The irony is that the Tieffling's player is an artist of sorts and just finished before the session a new drawing of his character. by the end he needed to completely change it... but he got his cool new weapon.

  6. 6 By: Amanda Boomgaarden

    Info first:

    So this is my very first time playing DND. My online friends convinced to play with them. We are using discord to chat and playing on Roll20.

    We are near the end of the first Act of our campaign and so our group consists of: A hermit half-high-elf druid, orphan high-elf rogue, and a spunky alcoholic rock gnome wizard.

    To prepare for the final dungeon/cave/boss we go to a run-down wood-elf village to get supplies and rest up. Immediately our rock gnome goes to the tavern to drink. So we follow her. Our DM proceeds to say something along these lines.

    DM: This alcohol is the wood-elfs speciality and can cause hallucinations if you drink 2 or more.

    Gnome: Hell yeah! My kind of stuff!

    DM: Also, since the Rogue is a part of the wood elfs your first drink is free.

    Gnome is already drinking. By the time the DM finishes explaing the alcohol, she is on her 2nd drink.

    Me: Sips at alcohol and finds it really sweet and chugs it. (Also my druid is a light weight so she stops at 1)

    Rogue walks away shaking his head.

    DM: Also, there is a forger here if you want to upgrade your weapons.

    Me: What!? I wanna upgrade my staff. *takes character to the forger and talks to forger.* DM proceeds to explain the cost etcetc.

    So I try to use the card in Roll20 to change the staff upgrades, but instead I kept rolling on my staff instead; my first roll was a critical fail.

    DM: You swing your staff at the forager in your drunken state and miss. The forager gives you a weird look.

    Me: I didnt mean to do that! I accidently clicked roll. *laughter ensues* Ok, I think I got it this time. *rolls on the staff again*

    DM: You swing your staff widely in your drunken state, while trying to ask the forager to upgrade your staff. This time he gives you a pissed off look.

    ~Rogue enters and sees shenanigans~

    Me: OMG! I did not mean to roll on it. I’m trying to upgrade. (more laughter) Ok I got it this time. *rolls the staff*

    DM: What are you trying to do!?

    Me: I’m trying to fix the stats!

    DM: I’ll fix it for you. Also, this time when you swing your staff you hit the forager in the back of the head. He takes the staff from you and forces you to sit down in the corner of the room.

    Me: *Pouts*

    Rogue: I’ll pull her outta here and take her back to the tavern. *rolls strength to pull her back and brings chacaters to tavern*

    Me: *talks to plants in the tavern*

    Rogue: Theres no plants….

    DM: Shes drunk and hallucinating so she sees plants and proceeds to talk to them. Also, Gnome, your hallucinations are causing you to see nothingness and taste colors.

    Gnome: That tasted purple! *pukes*

    DM: You see your vomit as very glitery rainbow.

    *Rogue facepalms*


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