DnD Story #236 – A Huge Misunderstanding… Pt.1


1 point


My character's name was Elfers McTallson. High Elf, nobility. One of 4 heirs to the throne. He accidentally stumbled across some old tomes thought to be destroyed that contained info that that vould ruin the family name. Thr giod ki g and councilmen could not bring themselves to have me killed, so they told me I was going to be a diplomat, sent to teach the ways of democracy to a goblin city in the jungles of the main land and gave me enough money for a one way ticket.

To put plainly, my character is naive as hell and overcharasmatic. Heavy on the naive. To put poetically, "He's not thr sharpest brick in the haystack".

Needless to say; the goblin city was not wanting or aware of said "democracy" I was bringing. Nor were they aware I was coming. The high elf council was also not aware there was actually a goblin city on the map they made me…

DM: Your character emerges from his meditation at morning light. You are in thr hotel room you purchased, the ship to the mainland heads out in an hour. The 2 giards you were sent with are nowhere to be found. What do you do?

Me: I head downstairs and start the morning off with a drink.

DM: … Alright. There at the bar are a few other patrons. The bartender is a half-orc in a surprisingly well tailored, but dirty outfit. Thr most out of place character is a dwarf with a pack nearly thr size of himself whom you wonder how he got atop his bar stool.

Me: I slap some coin down on thr table and happily request some grog.

DM: The half-orc bartender turns and replies "aye?"

Me: … I would like some alcohol, please, good sir. I am soon to be on an adventure and would like some spirits to start the day off right!

DM: The orc smacks his forehead with a chuckle and replies "Ough! 'Ah 'vourse yeh ded. M'uh name's Grog, s' yeh had meh a right bit confussed!" as he pours you a drink.

Me: I put some more coin down and requeat another for my new dwarf friend here!

[This dwarf has no idea who I am].

Dwarf: *raises eyebrows of confusion and slight irritation*.

Me: You there! I am on a quest to bring democracy to a goblin city on thr mainland! Tis not for thr faint of heart and my guards have abandoned me. Surely I could perform this task alone, but companionship would be nice! *I slap 2 gold on thr counter in front of him* What say you?!

[This is another player. Düthrod Battlebeard. A mountain dwarf fighter/blacksmith].

Düthrod: My eyes get a bit bigger as i slowly take the 2 gold off the table and povket them and then let out a bit of a confirmatory grumble.

DM: The bartender cheers and pulls out a fancy bottle of shimmering alcohol from the top shelf and says "This es cawls f'ra celebratin'! Oi owlways wan'ed a gou e'splorin on dah seas. But me boss man would'nae care for it.  'E would'nae care for it a'tall…" as his eyes shift back towards the main room nervously.

Me: Good man… you are not a slave to this establishment, are you? Have you no say?

DM: at the word 'slave' he starts panicking and furiously scrubbing rhe counter repeating. "Grog's happy 'ere. Musn't angers the boss" very nonconvincingly.

I stand up tall on the counter and shout "Grab what you will Grog, you are a free man now! By my gold or my steel, it shall be!"

DM: The manager comes out and starts shouting abiut the commotion and your boots on his bar.

Me: I toss 3 gold at him an-


Me:… about 14 now.

DM: … christ, okay.

Me: I cast3 gold at him and persuade him "This man's debt to you is paid!" and stand between he and Grog.

Düthrod: Im gonna take out my warhammer and weild it in a way that implies I dont want trouble, but I'll mess someone up.

DM: *rolls*… the owner sneers and waves you away, telling Grog to get his belongings and get out in the next 5 minutes or he'll be escorted off thr premises. No one seems to want to combat you. Not you so much as thr dwarf with the warhammer.

Düthrod: Ha!

Dm: Grog gets his things and you make your way to the boat.

[bullshit and travel time ensues along with bathroom breaks].

Düthrod: … I like this boat… Its my hoat now.

DM: What?

Düthrod: I equip my war axe.

DM: Are yo-

Düthrod: And I start walking towards the captain…

DM: … roll initiatives…

Düthrod, Grog, Captain, Elfers, deck hands 1 & 2.



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