How my half-orc monk became a Meganuke


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I must clarify how this was possible before I tell my tale. This campaign was set in a custom world with some added opportunities. Earlier in the story, we found a special mixture to make fire that will engulf literally anything in flames. My character alone learned the recipe(scorpion poison, alchohol, and gunpowder) to the concoction, and he didn't teach anyone else.

Now to the story: Our party was tasked by our dmpc god character to prevent the assassination of a gnome king. Our Tiefling Warlock went about socializing, our Human Barbarian danced with his date, our Dwarven Rouge actually tried to do his job, and I got ahold of the strongest alchohol possible(My plan was then set in motion, as I already had poison from a giant scorpion, and some "augmented" gunpowder) and mixed up a very special concoction. I told the party to get the king out safe, as the assassin was disguised among the guests, and my character was weakest. The party was confused, but complied after noticing my fire gauntlet alight on one hand, and a foaming cup in the other.

After the king was moved to safety, I drank the concoction. I then put my flaming gauntlet in my mouth and prepared to kill all of the party guests.

As soon as I did that, the dmpc god character teleported to me, and teleported me to the woods outside of the kingdom, and reappeared inside the ballroom. As soon as he got back, the whole builing shook and the sky was ablaze. Then the assassin attacked, but was thrown out of a window by our barbarian.

It was explained to our party by our dm that my bomb would've killed the king(he would've spoken sooner, but hates to railroad people). Upon further investigation, it was discovered that I had blown up into a 10 mile crater that was fuming with poison damage and fire, effectively acting as radiation.

While not the glorious death I would have hoped for, I couldn't complain. That campaign is still going and I still get teased in good spirit about that.


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